Michelle Obama is acutely aware that her relationship with former President Barack Obama appears picture-perfect on the surface, but the reality is that she knows marriage is two things: hard and requires a commitment to work on it.
That message dispelling the illusion of having an ideal union is one Michelle has been candidly tackling for years, namely since leaving the White House and publishing two books of her own, each peeling back layers to reveal the making of the former first lady. Her latest interview is no different.
In conversation with Jay Shetty for his eponymous podcast, the “Becoming” author touched on the hardships of maintaining a long-term relationship. She and Barack celebrate their 31st wedding anniversary in October.
She noted, “In your relationship, you hit some natural and understandably rough patches and you want to quit. … Over the span of a 30-year marriage, yes, you cobble together enough arguments and you’ve got a decade, and that’s just the way it goes.”
“But you don’t quit on it, you learn from it and that’s what sustaining a relationship is. It’s the choice to figure it out, not to quit when it gets hard,” said the former Princeton University and Harvard-educated lawyer.
Ok…this is the most absolute sweetest and most romantic thing ever!!!! BARACK AND MICHELLE ARE RELATIONSHIP GOALS!!! All day, everyday and forever!!!! https://t.co/xMHvp44moa
— Alexis McCullough (@AlexisMcCullou1) January 18, 2019
“We’ve made a lot of mistakes, we’ve gotten it wrong, and after 31 years, we’re getting better at it. … But I wouldn’t trade my marriage in for anything in the world with all the ups and downs,” she added.
In the age of social media, where she and the first Black president of the United States have sometimes been idolized for their love story, she told Shetty, “I don’t want people looking at me and Barack like #CouplesGoals and not know, no, there’s some broken things that happened even in the best of marriages.”
In 2022, Michelle turned heads when she revealed there was a decade where she could not stand Barack. “And guess when it happened? When those kids were little,” she said during the REVOLT x Michelle Obama: The Cross-Generational Conversation with other notable women.
The former FLOTUS explained that carrying the bulk of the weight of parenting daughters, Malia and Sasha, was the ultimate strain on the marriage. “For ten years while we’re trying to build our careers and, you know, worrying about school and who’s doing what, I was like, ‘Ugh, this isn’t even.’”
Barack publicly addressed his wife’s candid remarks in May 2023 CBS interview. He admitted that he could have been a more present partner and shown greater appreciation toward her during his presidency. Despite those comments, neither of them have alluded to the specifics of any other “broken” moments in their marriage.
