All my life, I’ve had to prove myself with respect to being mistaken for a mixed-race woman. White people sometimes mistake me for being white, and sometimes, I’ve been deemed not to be black enough by black people.
I’m extremely fair-skinned, but I do have African-American features; they especially show since I wear my hair in locs. Both of my parents are light-skinned Black people, but most people still assume what they want about me.
Recently, I started dating a guy, only to find out that I was a part of his weird fetish. He enjoys dating white women who are submissive to him. As much as I like him, I realize that we are not going to work, mainly because he would like for me to be subservient. That’s not going to happen. He can forget it. My mother raised a strong black woman, and it’s not in my DNA to be submissive and subservient.
This past weekend, we went out with some of his friends, and I found out that he’s been passing me off as being white. I informed the friend of his I was talking to that my mother is a Black woman from the Caribbean, and my father is African-American. His friend demanded that I provide my driver’s license as proof of my race.
My boyfriend just stood by and watched the interaction. I didn’t appreciate what he had done and told him about it. He wasn’t as angry as I thought he’d be about me confronting him for fetishizing me. He admitted that he is wildly attracted to thin white women and that when he met me, he thought it was perfect because he’d be getting the best of all worlds — a black woman who looks white and can fulfill his ultimate fantasy.
Should I run for the hills knowing that he’s been lying about my race to his friends and family to get off on my light skin?
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