I was raised by my mother, who was a single parent. One day last year, I received a Facebook message from a woman who was trying to find me for her husband. We set up a time to have a phone call, and when I got on the phone, I heard the voice of my father for the very first time at the age of 31.
My father and I decided to meet in person at a coffee shop the following week. We had a conversation that lasted for hours and ended with him apologizing to me for having been missing in action all my life. He admitted that because I was conceived out of wedlock, he couldn’t bring me around his family or my siblings. He also told me that he suffered from mental issues that he struggled with and had never really gotten a handle on.
Unfortunately, not long after my father connected me with my siblings, he passed away.
I was more devastated than I thought I would be by his passing. My siblings reached out, and we got together to talk about the funeral and the costs associated with it. I was shocked that they expected me to chip in when I had only known the man for a matter of months.
I went home to process everything and decided it was tacky and rude for them to expect me to make a financial contribution.
The oldest of our siblings, my sister Shay, was very vocal about the fact that I needed to contribute. She sent me an email with a breakdown of all the costs and the amount that would be my responsibility. I kindly responded and politely declined to take part in giving money toward the funeral costs.
I was later asked not to show up to the service. Should I stand my ground and miss my father’s funeral or give money, although he never supported me financially while he was alive?
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