My Boyfriend of Three Months Is Demanding That We Move In Together, or He’ll Dump Me

My current boyfriend and I have had a colorful past. We met in our teens and were both living idyllic lives. Neither of us was really into being in a committed relationship, as evidenced by our tendency to end up being each other’s side piece. It would happen the same way every single time. Basically, I would be dating someone and run into him, and he would be dating someone, too. Still, we’d start talking and kicking it on the side.

But this time was very different. My best friend and I were out at a lounge, and as soon as we were walking up to the door, I saw him — working security. I was flustered and nervous because it had been years since we had been together. We exchanged pleasantries and numbers and, soon after that, started dating. I’m happier than I’ve been with a guy in years, and he seems happy, too. But now he’s starting to apply pressure. He wants me to move in with him.

Stock image of couple arguing. (Photo:

I can’t for the life of me figure out why he wants me to move in so badly outside of him wanting to be able to watch my every move and control me. He claims it’s not at all about control and that he has always been adamant about living with his woman. I told him that maybe if things go well and we end up engaged or married, then, yes, I’ll move in for sure. But for now, it has only been three months, and my family frowns upon shacking up.

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Yesterday, my boyfriend and the love of my life gave me a straight-up ultimatum. He told me that either I move in with him in the next 30 to 45 days or it’s over. I can’t believe it. Maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way, and I should be honored that he would want us to live together. Most guys shy away from that sort of thing until they’re forced to have to live together. I don’t know what to do, and I’m afraid to lose him. Should I start packing to start shacking or continue to hold true to my own values and morals and not move in with him, even at the risk of losing my relationship?

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