A witty list of ‘essential’ figures in President Donald Trump’s administration has the internet in an uproar.
As the government shutdown unfolded, a post emerged listing some of the alleged staff Trump supposedly couldn’t do without — from a face painter to a specialist for his neck. The bizarre roster has the internet in a frenzy, with many pointing to the source behind Trump’s latest roast: California Gov. Gavin Newsom.
The post quickly went viral, racking up thousands of shares and sparking a flood of reactions from users eager to add their own two cents to the comedic roasting from a Newsom parody account.
“NOW THAT DONNY SHUT DOWN THE GOVT, WE MUST FIRE THESE GOVT EMPLOYEES: TRUMP’S FACE PAINTER, HAIR FLUFFER, SHOE LIFT INSERTER, DIAPER CHANGER, DIETICIAN, LOBOTOMIST, PERSONAL TRAINER, ENGLISH TEACHER, AND THE GYNECOLOGIST WHO TREATS HIS NECK. (SAD)”
The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
NOW THAT DONNY SHUT DOWN THE GOVT, WE MUST FIRE THESE GOVT EMPLOYEES: TRUMP’S FACE PAINTER, HAIR FLUFFER, SHOE LIFT INSERTER, DIAPER CHANGER, DIETICIAN, LOBOTOMIST, PERSONAL TRAINER, ENGLISH TEACHER, AND THE GYNECOLOGIST WHO TREATS HIS NECK. (SAD) pic.twitter.com/y5w7wPc4uB
— Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) (@AwesomeNewsom) October 2, 2025
While the Trump administration was busy threatening mass layoffs and rewriting the traditional shutdown playbook, the parody account was busy imagining which members of Trump’s orbit would make the cut as indispensable personnel. In past shutdowns, the designation of “essential” employees typically meant active-duty military, federal law enforcement, air traffic controllers, and emergency responders — people keeping the nation safe and functioning, according to Time.
Social media users wasted no time piling on with their own additions to the satirical staff list.
“And diaper changer,” one commenter suggested, prompting waves of agreement.
He looks so like his mother with that hair style
— Linda M. (@popstarsmam_mc) October 2, 2025
Another chimed in with, “Don’t forget to Fire Trump’s doctor. Ron Jackson happens to be MAGA, too.” (Texas Rep. Ronny Jackson was the White House physician during Trump’s first term.)
The creativity didn’t stop there.
One person gasped at the absurdity of it all, writing, “This might be the best yet,” with a few laughing emojis.
Jackson lost his license years ago’🤭
— rika fuhrman (@rikafrlty) October 3, 2025
Another couldn’t resist questioning the authenticity of Trump’s fitness regime: “DOES DONNY REALLY HAVE A PERSONAL TRAINER? WHAT DOES HE TRAIN? HOW TO EAT MORE NUGGETS?”
In contrast, another said, “You went way too far. You always go too far. @GavinNewsom you need to hire actual comedians.”
The jokes, while biting, point to a deeper frustration many Americans feel watching the shutdown unfold. Unlike previous standoffs, where workers knew whether they’d be sent home or required to show up without pay, this shutdown has left federal employees in limbo.
Some agencies have furloughed barely any staff, while others face sweeping cuts. The confusion has sparked suspicion that managers are keeping people on the job not because they’re essential but to avoid making them look expendable — a strategic move that could pave the way for permanent dismissals later.
IT'S COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE TO SEE A FAT COMMANDER IN CHIEF IN THE HALLS OF THE WHITE HOUSE! pic.twitter.com/hZtRdJG8b7
— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) September 30, 2025
As Washington fumbles through the chaos, one thing is clear: the internet isn’t letting this moment pass without a laugh. The parody post about Trump’s “essential” employees has become a rallying cry for those fed up with the theatrics, proving that sometimes humor is the best response to political absurdity.
Regardless, Newsom and his supporters never miss an opportunity to roast Trump for his gaudy renovations to the White House, for stumbling over his words during a speech or simply clowning Trump’s “cankles.”
Last week, in response to Pete Hegseth’s declaration about “fat troops” and “fat generals,” Newsom’s team posted a snippet of Hegseth’s speech with a photo of Trump removing his suit jacket while inside a McDonald’s. In another image posted by Newsom, Trump was seen double fisting two cheeseburgers with drones over him delivering more food.
