For Black women, when it comes to looking for love, location matters — at least according to lifestyle content creator Nnenna B.
In a hilarious post titled “Red Flags Academy,” Nnenna B focuses on the cities where she believes the guys are walking red flags. She listed five cities, with Atlanta at the top, followed by Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, and Houston.
“I know some people feel that [Houston] should be higher on the list, but here’s the thing. Although the men will cheat on your left, right, up, down, northwest, southeast, and running around the roly-poly, at least you will get the ring,” she says.
Nnenna B. ranks Atlanta as the worst city because it’s unclear which team guys are playing for.
“If you don’t have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, or you didn’t grow up learning the WWE Smackdown, please don’t come here because not only will you be fighting the women for the man, you will also be fighting men, too,” she adds.
The list has sparked much conversation, with people agreeing with Nnenna and adding their own cities and experiences.
“The list was painfully accurate. Truly a hard pill to swallow,” one person commented.
“I’ve been in NYC for ten years. So much time has been wasted. A dude straight up told me years later he did me wrong because he was broke,” another person replied.
“Add [the] DMV,” said another. “The brunch fellas in Chelsea boots.”
Other cities women say need to be added include Dallas, Memphis, Miami, and Toronto.
Why Is It Hard For Some Black Women to Find Love?
As funny as Nnenna’s post, the theory that dating may be harder for Black women in certain areas may be rooted in some truth because data supports why the odds are more challenging for women to find eligible bachelors and in favor of men. According to a recent U.S. Census Bureau analysis, there are 89.8 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, some states are better for women to increase their odds. In Alaska, North Dakota, Wyoming, South Dakota, and Colorado, there are more unmarried men than unmarried women.
This changes in the South and East Coast. The DMV, Alabama, Delaware, and Puerto Rico have more unmarried women than unmarried men.
For Black single women, these numbers are lower. Across the country, the ratio of unmarried Black/African American men to Black/African-American women is 79.8.
The odds increase for Black women in places like Alaska, where the ratio of unmarried Black/African American men to women is 179.7, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. The worst state is Delaware, where the ratio is 71.0 unmarried men to women.
Another factor is finances. A study posted in the American Association for the Advancement of Science found that women face partner shortages because they can’t find “economically attractive” men. The study compared the sociodemographic characteristics of unmarried men who are available to unmarried women to the husbands of comparable married women. Researchers found that women’s “potential husbands” had an average income of about 58 percent higher, were 30 percent more likely to be employed, and were 19 percent more likely to have a college degree than the actual unmarried men who are currently available to unmarried women.
Unfortunately, researchers also found that Black women face serious shortages of potential marital partners at a higher rate than their counterparts.
“Most American women hope to marry, but current shortages of marriageable men — men with a stable job and a good income — make this increasingly difficult, especially in the current gig economy of unstable low-paying service jobs,” lead author Daniel T. Lichter, Ph.D., of Cornell University wrote when the paper was released. “Marriage is still based on love but is fundamentally an economic transaction. Many young men today have little to bring to the marriage bargain, especially as young women’s educational levels on average now exceed their male suitors.”
There Is Hope For Black Love
Don’t be discouraged. There is still hope regarding the dating scene and the best locations for Black women to find love. A subreddit on the best cities for single Black women to meet Black men in r/blackladies gives some insight for Black women.
A woman who asked about the best cities for Black women said she was over the dating scene in Los Angeles.
“I grew up in Los Angeles, and I’m looking for a change,” she stated. “I’m tired of the dating mentality (in terms of colorism) that’s so prevalent in L.A.” This is the same reason Nnenna B included Southern California on her list.
Women commented that some of the best cities are in the Midwest, including Chicago and Cleveland. Cleveland has a larger Black population but ranks at the bottom for overall outcomes for Black women on Bloomberg’s report. Other cities on the “green flag list” on Reddit include Raleigh, Durham, Charlotte, and North Carolina — all cities that rank high in overall outcomes for Black women.
Data suggests that in 2024, the states with the highest Black populations are Mississippi (39 percent), Louisiana (34 percent), Georgia (31 percent), and Maryland (31 percent).
According to the Census, Black marriages are at their highest in Hawaii, Idaho, Utah, Montana, and Maine, despite these states having the lowest Black populations in 2024. Utah also seems to be a great destination for Black people who are looking to thrive financially. Lending Tree revealed that Black Americans thrive the most in Washington, D.C., in terms of homeownership, household income, and education (bachelor’s degree or higher). They are followed by Black residents in Austin, Texas; Provo, Utah; and Poughkeepsie, New York.
If you’re in search of Black love exclusively, the Pew Research Center looked at intermarriage across the U.S. in 2017, and newlyweds in Jackson, Mississippi, and Asheville, North Carolina, had the smallest percentage of intermarriage at just 3 percent each. Utah, which has appeared promising in many other areas of study, had several metro cities that ranged from 10 percent to 27 percent intermarriage in the U.S. However, those numbers appear to account for a majority of relationships involving white partners. No data was provided for Black partners in these cities. It’s no shock that at 30 percent, Los Angeles exceeds the 18 percent interracial marriage national average for Black people.
In my personal experience, my circle of friends is finding success in Chicago. Of course, the dating pool has urine in it no matter what city, but there tends to be less in Chicago, where my friends find men who want to settle down.
