‘I’m Trying to Make the Best of It’: DMX’s Fiancée Desiree Lindstrom Opens Up About Life Following Rapper’s Death

It’s hard to imagine that it’ll be almost one year since the hip-hop community lost Grammy-nominated rapper and actor DMX. While for many, the 50-year-old’s death marked a massive void in the music world, for the Mount Vernon native’s fiancée, Desiree Lindstrom, it signified the day her life altered entirely and the start of a new journey she said she’s taking “second by second.”

Ahead of the anniversary of Earl Simmons’ death, Lindstrom opened up about still grieving the loss of her finaceè almost one year since the “X Gon’ Give It to Ya” rapper died from a heart attack on April 9, 2021. Lindstrom revealed during her appearance on the “It’s Tricky with Raquel Harper” podcast that “I haven’t moved on,” adding, “It’s hard, you know? It’s really hard. I just take it minute by minute. Some people say you could take it day by day, but it’s second by second. My life changed so fast in the blink of an eye,” she continued. 

DMX during DMX, Mobb Deep, Olivia and Rick Ross Visit MTV’s “Sucker Free Week” – April 6, 2006 at MTV Studios – Times Square in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/FilmMagic)

Lindstrom, who shared a 5-year-old son with the late “Belly” star, said her focus now is “to build myself to be a great mother to Exodus.” She added, “I want him to see that he has a strong mother that can stand up on her own, and I’m just trusting in God through the process. I go up and down with emotions. I have to really force myself to keep it moving, keep going.” Lindstrom is currently in school to be an esthetician.

She noted that there are still moments of loneliness like during holidays because “Earl was my family,” but thanks to their son Exodus, “I try to make the best of it, because I know that’s what he would’ve wanted met to do.”

In those moments, she said she leans on her son, who, despite a continuous battle with stage-three kidney disease, demonstrates a strength unlike no other. Lindstrom said that’s where she finds the most comfort. 

“Sometimes it’s hard, just looking at him. He has so many different qualities of his father,” she explained. “So when I do shed a tear, he’ll be like, ‘Mommy, are you okay? And I’ll say, ‘You just did something that was like your father.’ And he’s like, ‘Mommy, it’s okay, Daddy’s with God. He’s watching over us. He’s our angel.’ I just thank God that he gave me a son that is like that. He’s just like his dad.” 


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