‘You Are the Black Pearls of the Family’: White Grandmother Gives Her Black Daughter-in-Law a Gift That Leaves Social Media In Uproar

A Christmas gift from an older white in-law to a Black woman has caused an uproar on social media. Many believe that a post about a holiday present suggests that the grandmother was making a racial microaggression, instead of acknowledging the valuable gift as a sweet gesture of her love.

According to Newsweek, a Reddit post sparked the controversy. A white man, who is married to an African-American woman, posted a picture of the gift of Tahitian pearls from his grandmother to his wife.

He captioned the post, “Xmas present from my very Karen grandma to my African American wife.” He punctuated the heading with a white embarrassment emoji.

The grandmother’s card to her granddaughter read, “Like my Black Pearls — Rare and of great value! You are the black pearls of the family (smiley face). Love you, Karen.”

Almost 4,300 comments have been made since the Christmas post went up and most commenting didn’t see a problem with the present. A few people said generationally and culturally, her remarks reflected someone trying their best to rise above white privilege. Others even blasted the man for including the palm hand in the note, suggesting he was embarrassed by her.

User Codeesha asserts that people should give the older white woman a break because “she’s trying” and what more can one expect. ObsessiveRecognition chimed in, writing, “Yeah like my grandma (she doesn’t TRY or WANT to be racist or homophobic, it just happens). She says ‘he-she’ when talking about her trans neighbor and always mentions if q person is black or brown when telling stories to us. I remember we were watching Shark Tank and she goes “wow look at that! An Indian can get rich today, huh?”. We just kinda stared at her lol.”

One B1GTOBACC0 wrote, “Bless her heart, grandma’s trying. The delivery needs a little work, but she’s trying.” 

“I think she meant well and that’s an amazing gift…If the pearls are real then it’s SUPER expensive!” another person 420_Catlover commented, ultimately agreeing that “the delivery was off.”

Gas_Grouchy commented, “I think acknowledging the fact she is black and could feel left out but that she is beautiful and rare in her own regard and loved by the family is completely sweet. I think the ‘cringe’ card was actually perfectly delivered and genuine.”

DanysDeadDragons posted that he believes that by making this public, the grandson was “looking for a reason to look down upon his grandmother,” while 2forroughing went further, writing that the man was going to pay for posting this. “Wow. Give your grandma a fu##ing break here. This was a very thoughtful gift, and clearly comes from a place of love. Be thankful that your wife is loved and accepted by your family- regardless of her race. And for f###s sake- quit throwing your grandmother under the bus for points – it makes you look like an ungrateful sh## head karma wh##e.”

According to the retailer Pearl Lang, Black Pearls are called Tahitian Pearls and come from French Polynesia, Fiji, the Sea of Cortez and the Cook Islands. These specific pearls are considered the most exotic variety of pearls in the market, with the most high-quality batch of them going from $1,000 to $36,000. While they are called Black Pearls, they are not actually black. The most common colors of the gem are pistachio, aubergine, peacock, gray, brown and deep purple.


More news from our partners:

A UPS Driver’s Kind Message to a Mother On His Route Went Viral, and Now He’s Receiving Dozens of Gifts From Strangers as a Thank You

‘I Just Wanted to Learn How to Make Money Myself and with My Child’: How One Man is Building Wealth with Vending Machines

‘His Instagram Meme…Was A Blow To His Worthy Legacy’| Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Continues To Call Out LeBron Over COVID-19 Missteps


Democracy needs journalism it can trust.

This election season, the stakes are higher than usual — and so is the pressure on newsrooms to soften their coverage, stay quiet, or just disappear. Independent reporting, the kind that answers to readers instead of advertisers or political pressure, matters more in a moment like this, not less.

For over 14 years, Atlanta Black Star has stayed independent and reader-funded. We have no corporate owner and no shareholders telling us what to cover or how to cover it. That independence is also our biggest vulnerability: nothing protects it except readers choosing to fund it directly.

Newspaper ad revenue has fallen more than 80% since 2005, and local newsrooms are closing at a rate of roughly two a week nationwide. When outlets go under in a moment like this, it's rarely the independent, reader-funded ones that get to stick around.

We know a request for support isn't why you came here. But without readers choosing to fund this work directly, the depth of reporting we can do at home and abroad shrinks along with everyone else's. If you're not in a position to give, that doesn't change how much we value you as a reader.

If you are able to, a recurring contribution does more for us than a single one-time gift, because it lets us plan the next investigation instead of just the next invoice. It takes about 30 seconds, no long form, no account. Thank you for continuing to support independent journalism and freedom of the press.

Back to top