Ashley Darby‘s controversial opinion about spanking children on April 29, left people at odds in the comments section after the “Real Housewives of Potomac” star uploaded a series of videos explaining why that form of discipline is wrong. The conversation initially began after Darby reposted a now-expired image on her Instagram Story that described the consequences of spanking, which included “low self-esteem,” “negative parent-child relationships,” increased risk of using “aggression to solve problems,” and many more repercussions.
The “RHOP” star began the video by addressing the image’s message and the reactions she got after uploading it. She said that some people criticized her because they felt she didn’t have enough experience being a parent. Darby has a 1-year-old son named Dean and just welcomed her second son Dylan last month. Others agreed with Darby’s stance, to which the “RHOP” star responded she was “happy” because it showed “that we are evolving, that we are learning, and we are doing better.”
As the clip continued, Darby encouraged those who use spanking as a form of discipline to “do some research” and see the “negative ramifications” it can have for children. The mother of two added that she didn’t understand why it would be OK to “pluck, hit and whip” a child but not an adult.
“Now I don’t know why it’s OK to pluck, hit, and whip children, but yet that’s not OK to do to adults. Are you really saying that the only way that you can help a child learn to do the ‘right thing’ and be moral is by inflicting pain on them? No, that’s wrong. And you are minimizing and you’re completely missing just how intelligent children are and how the brain actually works, OK?”
As the video nears the end, Darby linked childhood corporal punishment to adult violence.
“Also, I wish that you could do some research about people who are rapists and abusers. If you look at serial killers and you look at their childhoods, do you know what’s a common link? They were all abused as children. They all were ‘spanked.’ They all endured physical punishment as children.”
Darby closed the video by saying parents who feel spanking is a way to help prevent their child from becoming “hoodlums, hooligans, disrespectful” are wrong. She added that those parents are only passing down what they were taught in their childhood, and if they continue they wouldn’t be helping their child or society.
Once Darby’s now-expired Instagram Story clips were shared on The Shade Room it led to a full-on debate in the comments section. Some agreed with Darby, and others maintained that spanking is merely one discipline method. A selective few suggested that people should do what is best for their household.
“Spanking shouldn’t be your first response. Talk to them and understand them. Words can go a lot further then spanking. But If they still don’t listen, go and get the belt.”
“I feel like people should just mind their business. You don’t have to agree with spanking but don’t try to push your way of parenting on everyone else and tell them they’re doing it wrong!”
“Parents need to learn how to COMMUNICATE with your kids instead of spanking them.”
Many can assume that the reason why Darby is so vocal about parenting is because of her relationship with her own parents. The “RHOP” star previously has showcased her tense relationship with her mother, whom she and her husband Michael Darby once supported financially. In 2018 the show depicted how Darby’s relationship with her mother led to Michael having reservations about wanting children with his wife because he feared the dysfunctional cycle would continue.
He said while the couple was discussing the possibility of having children, “Do you wanna know the truth? I need you to push away from your mother because I don’t want you to look after my children in the way that your mother has looked after you. I’m asking you to step up. I want you to show them at all stages that hard work and ethics and honesty and loyalty are what things are all about.”
Months following that conversation, Darby announced in February 2019 that she was expecting her first child.