The interview, conducted by host Claudia Jordan, was shared on YouTube, Thursday, Aug. 27. Beyoncé’s name came up after Hilson talked about suffering from depression early in her career, which she claimed was partially due to the intense backlash that she received from Beyoncé’s fans.
“There was obviously a whole lot of public scrutiny that I had already dealt with for years and that had built up and I felt crucified for ideas and decisions that were not my own, that my arm was twisted to do,” said Hilson at the 1:58 mark.
In 2010 Hilson’s career was going strong, seeing as she was a successful songwriter and had a hit single with “Pretty Girl Rock.”
One year later, however, the native of the Atlanta suburb of Decatur refused to hold up an issue of Juicy magazine that had Beyoncé and JAY-Z on the cover while on the red carpet of the Soul Train Awards, which became a huge scandal.
But even before that, Hilson was accused of insulting the “Lemonade” creator and Ciara on the remix of her 2008 cut “Turnin Me On.”
“I ain’t tryin to start no mess / It’s just something on my chest that I need to get off, ’cause you turnin’ me off / Your vision cloudy if you think that you the best / You can dance she can sing but she need to move it to the… / She need to go have some babies, she needs to sit down, she fake / Them other chicks ain’t even worth my time to talk about,” sang Hilson on the song.
Hilson didn’t mention the cut by name during her interview with Jordan but said other people who were in control of writing some of her lyrics are responsible for creating the narrative that she doesn’t like Beyoncé.
“No one can ever compare to Beyoncé,” Hilson told Jordan. “Let’s just say the name that we’re discussing. No one can compare. No one will … and that was never my aim either [to insult her]. It was written that way. It was not my lyrics, it was not my writing, was not my doing, but I had to pay the penalty.”
“And then I’m caught,” she added. “Do I tell the truth? Do I expose them early in my career? It just soiled my whole dream. I would absolutely do it differently. Why is that so important to do? I’m not a shock jock. I’m not even that girl.”
Hilson’s last album was 2010’s “No Boys Allowed,” and for years there have been rumors that she’ll be releasing an LP titled “L.I.A.R (Love Is a Religion),” but a release date is still nowhere in sight.
However, the singer explained in her interview that her career is in a completely different place these days, free from those who she said controlled her image and art. Hilson also admitted that she deserved some of the backlash surrounding Beyoncé.
“I’m kind of free from those characters and I’m able to control a lot more of my image, my perception, my character. It’s me, it’s really me now,” Hilson explained. “I have to say I deserved everything, all the criticism. As heavy as it was, as difficult as it was, I can’t say that I wouldn’t be feeling that way.”