Marlon Wayans is in good spirits and turning a violation of privacy into a comedic moment. The comic, 51, is the latest celebrity to experience a home burglary at his Encino residence in California.
In a new Instagram post, the “Scary Movie” star seemed largely unfazed by the offense.
“I want you to know they didn’t really get much ‘cause I don’t own s—t. The most valuable thing in my house is my house, so unless you gone put that s—t on a truck and drag it away, then, yeah man, you did well. But I don’t own s—t. I don’t own jewelry. This is fake, “ said Marlon in a video as he pointed out his Oura ring that monitors his heart rate.
“I don’t own s—t. I’m not flashy…no jewelry, no necklaces. I don’t have cash. I use credit cards. I’m the wrong n—ga to rob. Go down the block, there’s a lot of fashion n—gas out there,” he continued. In the post’s caption, he further noted, “I live a simple life with 2 cats and one of them is a 1994 Range Rover, you will need a jumpstart if you steal it cuz the battery is dead.”
Along with a note of advice to thieves: “Don’t waste your energy or your life doing home invasions, s—t is too heavy!!! You want to carry all that bulls—t? Throw your back out, and for what?! I repeat I don’t own s—t valuable. I don’t have a bunch of cash or jewelry. Please pick a better [target emoji].”
According to TMZ, Marlon’s eldest brother, Keenen Ivory Wayans, was at the home when two robbers broke a back window and made their way in around 2:30 a.m. on June 29. The tabloid’s report, which is based on unidentified police sources, says the disturbance briefly woke the “In Living Color” creator, but he was unaware that there was more to the noise unfolding elsewhere in the home and fell back asleep.
A staff member who returned to the home around 8 a.m. the following day discovered that it had been burglarized. Marlon was out of town the night of the intrusion performing at the San Jose Comedy Club.
The two culprits got away with a safe and thousands in cash, TMZ claims. In Marlon’s post’s comments, fans were simultaneously relieved that no one was harmed and humored by the actor’s PSA to thwart former criminals from thinking his home was the host of a quick payday.
One person exclaimed, “When the joke is on them!” While another person wrote, “Imagine robbin a minimalist.” Funnier takes included a comment that read, “Did you just tell them who to rob bro!!!” as well as “That’s they get back for MO MONEY when u was scamming.”
Others who happened to notice Marlon’s son, Shawn Howell Wayans, standing in a doorway behind him, nearly mistook the recent University of Southern California graduate for a lurking burglar. “I got soo nervous when i noticed the guy behind u! I was like “OMG THEY CAME BACK FOR THE HOUSE!!” a concerned fan commented.
According to Realtor.com, Marlon purchased the $5.4 million five-bedroom modern farmhouse two years ago. It is located in the San Fernando Valley’s Amestoy Estates and boasts amenities like a media room, a pool, a basketball half-court, gym, and more.
