Broadcast journalist Gayle King’s recent appearance during a podcast interview has caused an uproar on social media as many debate when is it appropriate for a man to ask his female date for thousands of dollars.
The broadcast journalist revealed that she once went on a date with a man she had been seeing for a couple of months and he asked her if he could borrow money from her to help him pay his child support bills.
“We had gone out maybe two months, and then he said he really needed to talk to me,” King recalled last month during her “The Pivot” appearance. She told the show’s hosts, Ryan Clark, Channing Crowder, and Fred Taylor, “He wanted to have a private conversation.”
“OK, sure, what is it?” she remembers saying to the man, before he answered, “Do you think you could lend me $4,000?”
King said she was “crushed” and shocked to hear his request because he was making at least six figures. However, according to the “Good Morning America” host, “When I said, you know, ‘Could I ask what it’s for?’ He said, ‘Yeah.’ It was for a child support issue and to pay a payment on some furniture.”
Ultimately, she gave him the money and he paid it back within a week.
The scenario sparked discussion on the X platform, with many chiming in on whether or not one should date while broke or in serious debt. Many social media users online believe a man should, “Never ever ask a woman for money, what ever respect she had for you will be ripped for shreads.”
Another person thought that King should have exercised better judgment, asking why she gave a man she only knew for two months that much money.
Most critics agreed that King should not be paying someone else’s child support, but some welcomed the idea of her expanding her dating pool beyond her tax bracket.
“When youre rich, limiting your dating pool to the 1% of people on your same level seems like an unnecessary shrinking of your options. I still aint paying no one else’s child support tho,” said one person. Another wrote, “Gayle King is SIXTY NINE godd-mn years old, why is she even talking to a dude with kids under 18, a broke one especially?”
Gayle King is SIXTY NINE goddamn years old, why is she even talking to a dude with kids under 18, a broke one especially? https://t.co/oJfW7W842Y
— KEPT. (@bigolgeeek) January 30, 2024
Relationship coach and author Stephan Labossiere discussed the same subject during a 2021 interview on Anthony O’Neal’s podcast show, “The Table With AO.” He insists that the number one problem people have when getting into relationships is “trying to date while they are broke.”
He defined being broke as not being able to “stand on your own two feet” or not being able to “take care of your bills and essentials.”
Labossiere, who also goes by Stephan Speaks online, said he is not asserting that people do not deserve real love. But he does believe “you should not be focused on finding a partner and searching for it and putting energy into it when you need to be putting energy into establishing yourself.”
He also mentioned the power dynamics at play when someone with money dates someone without. For women, he claims they will make the man their project — essentially creating the partner she thinks he should be. For men, he said a woman might be exploited and forced to stay in a situation longer because she can’t afford to get out.
However, not everyone thought there was an issue with King helping the man out. Another person asked, “Is it really that bad to help your partner out?”
Experts say the decision of whether to help a partner out financially is complicated and layered, particularly since on average American personal debt across the board is about $26,500 in 2020, and credit card debt topped out at $820 billion.
Kendall Meade, a certified financial planner with SoFi, says communication about debt and money issues is important to have off the bat especially if the relationship gets serious.
“Start off with little conversations, like, ‘What are your goals?’ and work from there,” Meade counsels, according to CNBC. “It can be scary, but there are some things you should probably know.”
“The most important thing to know is any debts that they’re bringing into [the relationship]. That’s not necessarily because you’re going to have to pay it back for them,” she says. “But it can help you make decisions moving forward.”
In addition to talking about it, one might help their partner (or potential partner) by supporting them as they find a solution to get out of debt, help them create a budget, or work on their credit.
Locked into this is the double standard of complicated gender roles and systemic sexism.
Americans are taught that guys should be providers and should be the ones that women ask for financial assistance and not the other way around. Most people do not have a problem with this social construct. Unfortunately, if a man asks for support, he is looked down on. This double standard is rooted in the fact that women simply don’t make as much money as men (of any race), according to Business Insider.
In this case, King makes way more than most men in the nation. Also, the guy in this case, seemed to just have hit a rough patch, bouncing back swiftly to pay back his would-be-girlfriend.
While he got the money, he lost the girl. She couldn’t get past him needing money for child support and furniture. Neither could her gal pal.
King’s best friend, Oprah Winfrey, mocked the man’s request and allegedly said, “God, I would have felt better if he had said $40,000.”
