Over the last several months, TikTok has become the platform where people speak about their relationships truths.
From story times to podcast confessions, there are people all around the globe who are sharing their dating experiences and dishing on what they’ve learned from their relationships. The relatable content has also led to a segment of people who are offering dating and relationship advice or claiming to expose the realities of unpopular opinions.
Take Tamara, for instance, whose username is @justlivemara, who has made a series of videos on marriage and dating. One video, in particular, has gone viral for Tamara’s criticism of some Black women’s behavior.
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“I’m probably gonna get a lot of flak for this,” says Tamara, who is a Black woman with locs.
“But based on my observation, right, I honestly feel like Black women ‘Karen’ their own men. We literally Karen our own men at times. We act like Karens.”
The term “Karen” is a slang expression typically used to describe a specific stereotype of a person, usually a woman, who is perceived as entitled, demanding, and often exhibiting rude or obnoxious behavior. Karens are often associated with a tendency to make unreasonable complaints or requests, and they may display a sense of self-importance. The term gained popularity to describe white women in videos calling police on Black people who are doing everyday activities and those crying wolf.
“What do I mean by that? Y’all seen those videos where you have white women who played victim because they’re being recorded? You know, we know this, but they’ll play the victim when they’re around a Black man, or if they feel like they’re not in control or intimidated, they’ll play victim,” Tamara explains.
“Black women, we do the same things. We’ll get the law or courts involved when we feel like we’re not in control and are not getting what we want. Between the publicly shaming and insulting of our men to act like we’re victims in every situation when dealing with men,” Tamara continues.
It’s worth mentioning that the term “Karen” has been criticized for being sexist and for targeting a specific gender, and some argue that its use may perpetuate harmful stereotypes about women. In the context of the general society, Black women are often dismissed as victims, leading to the online catchphrase “Protect Black women” and disparity in care and attention to their cases.
Needless to say, Tamara says that she has witnessed too many instances where Black women do things to their male partners “out of spite” and that society often easily believes that whatever a woman says “is the truth.”
“Women are liars just as much as men are liars. I’m not going to believe a woman because she’s — just because she’s a woman. I need to know the story. I need details. I need to know the type of woman you are,” Tamara says.
Although Tamara predicted that she would draw sharp criticism for her comments, the video drew the opposite reaction, with several viewers praising her for the remarks. Some men even thanked the mother of four for speaking out in support of them. The video drew 37,000 views on TikTok and 181,000 views on the social media platform X, formerly Twitter.
“Say it louder, my sister,” one male viewer wrote in the comment section.
“This is so true. You look at this thing different when you have a son, and you see it being done to your own child,” wrote one female viewer.
