My Brothers Are All Leeching Off Me and My Parents Are Encouraging the Bad Behavior

My younger brothers and I have always been incredibly close. During our childhood, they protected me from bullies and mean girls, and in return, I made sure they had a few dollars in their pockets. It felt like a fair exchange, but for me, it was simply the right thing to do because our parents were very frugal and didn’t mind if we had little money.

Now that we’re all well into adulthood, I find myself facing a dilemma. My brothers still expect me to be their financial lifeline. While my job as an RN allows me to provide some support, I’m worried that they will deplete my resources and leave me in dire straits, especially my youngest brother. He’s 12 years my junior and, at 24, he lives with me. He claims to work as a party promoter, but it seems he mostly lounges on my couch all day.

Stock image on man on couch. (Photo:

Just last week, he called me from Cobb County Jail in Georgia, blaming me for his incarceration because I refused to give him money to renew his vehicle tag. To my defense, I had recently given him $300 to cover his car insurance so he wouldn’t have legal issues. It always seems like there’s something with him, and what I provide is never enough.

I reached a breaking point and had an emotional conversation with my parents about this situation. Surprisingly, they seemed to share my youngest brother’s perspective, believing that I should take care of him. They already provide for my eldest brother, who has disabilities and limited capacity to deal with the brother who resides with me. While I want the best for my brother, I believe it’s essential for him to enroll in school, pursue a trade, or secure a respectable job. Am I wrong to feel frustrated and consider cutting off my brother financially?

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