My best friend is in a very toxic relationship with her boyfriend. She asked me for some advice regarding the relationship, and I gave her the best advice possible based on the matter at hand. I suggested that she break up with him. I would never offer my two cents unsolicited, but since she asked, I gave it to her straight, no chaser.
She has been very sad over the past few weeks, feeling lonely about her own admission. I have been very supportive and overly receptive to her needs because she is struggling not to go back to him. I explained that she can’t keep going back to him just because she’s lonely if he’s not good for her overall.
This morning, she called me on the way to work and seemed to have a bit more pep in her conversation than usual. She admitted that she decided to take her boyfriend back since he was forthcoming about having cheated on her right before they broke up. She told me that she hoped I wouldn’t be mad at her, and she said that she feels that having him in her life is what’s best for her.
However, this is the second time in the two years that they’ve been off and on that her boyfriend has admittedly cheated on her. Even though he clearly can’t be trusted, he is controlling and financially abuses her. He doesn’t want her to go out without him around and has certain rules about how she can dress. He punishes her by taking away the car he brought her as a gift whenever she breaks the rules. He has a tracker on the car, so he always knows her whereabouts while he’s busy galavanting with other women.
This coming weekend, I intend to have a heart-to-heart talk with my best friend regarding her relationship with him, as well as the one she shares with me. I want her to know that I support her in making healthy choices and that I cannot support the opposite in good conscience.
To avoid breaking off our friendship altogether, should I demand that we no longer discuss him, or should I continue to be a sounding board for her yo-yo love, no matter how much pain it causes me?
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