As online dating apps become increasingly popular, many are considering proper in-person dating etiquette for first-date meetups.
One woman took to social media and sparked a conversation after blasting a guy for picking a meet-up spot an hour away from her home — but only two minutes from his.
Clarke Peoples says she is a registered Hinge user and recently met someone she thought was nice enough to arrange an in-person date. The man lived in East Williamsburg, Brooklyn, she said in a recent TikTok video. She, on the other hand, lives in Manhattan’s West side, over an hour away from him on public transportation.
When he selected a location for them to meet up, he did not select a neutral location like downtown Brooklyn or the SOHO area, mid-range for both parties. Instead, he selected a small establishment a stone’s throw from his hipster, trendy home.
“I basically clock what he’s doing,” the TikToker said in the video she posted on Saturday, April 8. “And I’m like, ‘I bet that place is two minutes from you.’ He says, ‘Yes, it [is] two minutes from me.'”
“I was like, ‘I bet you didn’t consider at all the fact that I live super far.’ And he’s like, ‘No, I did consider it, but I figure you probably don’t get out here that much and this is just like such a nice patio,” she continued to recall.
“Even if it was the most beautiful bar in the world, how inconsiderate is it for you to ask a woman to travel so far out of her way to meet you at a place that you can literally see — you can literally spit on from the window in your bedroom?” Peoples said, adding if she took the subway, she would have to switch trains and that trek would be about an hour.
She also noted if she took an Uber, she would be paying approximately $60 one way, calling his logic “insane.”
Peoples believe there was a method to his madness outside of just being inconsiderate. He wanted to get her drunk and possibly get her to go to his apartment and sleep with him.
In an effort to have others chime in, Peoples posted the exchange from her Hinge perspective on Twitter.
She wrote, “He really thought he ate that… F for effort.”
Almost a week after she posted the thread, more than 17 million people checked out their conversation.
One response said, “What is wrong with guys these days!! How dare they suggest a spot near them when paying the bill!!”
She clapped back, “This response to me not wanting a date to pick a place on his block for the sole reason of getting me back to his apt for sex 2 hrs after meeting is exactly why I’m taking none of you naysayers in the replies seriously. Not having sex on the 1st date is not dangling meat.”
The person, whose username is DKNGBull, wrote, “U aren’t hot enough to tweet this. I wouldn’t swipe right on u. maybe but prob not.”
Another person, Luke Ritchie, said he understands “the idea that he should find a space between you” but believes she is being bullheaded for not being “willing to travel by train or leave [her own] borough.”
“The man offered exactly what you asked for in your bio, and you’re now blaming him for the fact that you live distant from him despite the fact you were aware of that when you matched with him,” Ritchie said before adding, “Your entitlement was hurt so you felt the need to seek validation on the internet.”
Twitter user @SprSayn_Ironman asked, “What is so hard about appreciating him doing what you asked but also letting him know you’d rather meet closer?”
“He was very nice about it,” he continued, “… For you to put him on blast on social media is just another weird issue.”
A woman named Keysha chimed in Peoples’ defense and said, “He was not very nice about it at all. It was a creep move. His ex-girlfriend also entered the chat and confirmed he was a jerk. I would not want this guy for my daughter, friend, or family member.”
Almost split down gender lines, other women agreed with Peoples’ overall conclusion.
A Twitter user named Hailey said, “Can they literally not see that the point isn’t the distance and your inconvenience? It’s the fact that he didn’t take a single thing into consideration and is sitting back expecting you to do the legwork. How don’t they feel the ‘luring me to his stomping grounds’ vibes.”
One person said she believes “the responses have been eye-opening.”
“I read it and immediately was like oh yeah that’s a red flag, he sucks; but to see all these people saying YOU were in the wrong like… what????? i will gladly stay single forever if that’s what these streets are like,” Kayla Knapp wrote.
Experiences when dating through apps can range from rude to potentially dangerous, presenting red flags for both women and men.
According to Phactual, one in 10 sex offenders meet new people on dating apps or websites. Another startling report states in 2005, 25 percent of people convicted of rape find their victims through online dating. Even more terrifying is the report says, “Each year internet predators commit more than 16,000 abductions, 100 murders, and thousands of rapes.”
Experts recommend meeting up for “first in-person app dates” in neutral public spaces and letting someone know the details of where you are meeting just to be safe.
