Being Married Does Not Equate to Being Strong
The idea of marrying oneself as a display of strength is problematic because it perpetuates the misconception that a woman’s strength is directly correlated to her marital status. What makes a woman strong has nothing to do with whether she is married or not nor does it have anything to do with her role in the family structure. While a woman can be a strong mother or a strong wife, those titles are not what dictate her strength. To marry yourself and correlate that with proof that you are a strong Black woman only suggests that there is a direct connection between a woman’s strength and whether or not there is a ring on her finger.
Being Married by a Certain Age Isn’t That Great of a Life Goal
Not only should women have greater aspirations than to simply get married, but setting marriage as a goal can also have a damaging effect on a woman’s relationships. “If we see marriage as a goal, and/or a necessary life stage, we lose sight of everything except the end game,” wrote Jennifer Armstrong of Sexy Feminist. “We want to check marriage off on our to-do list and move on.” Armstrong explains that marriage in and of itself should never be a woman’s goal. Instead, women should confidently move through life and use marriage as a way to celebrate true love when they just so happen to find it.