Tyrese Gibson and Rev. Run are an unlikely team that has come together to share their knowledge on dating and relationships with another men’s playbook type of guide for women. But are they really saying anything we haven’t heard already?
Steve Harvey’s “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” laid down the law for women seeking a serious relationship and helped school them on men’s playerish ways and how to get around it. So when Tyrese Gibson and Rev. Run announced their own book titled “Manology” you can’t help but wonder if the book will be pitching any new ideas that Mr. Harvey hadn’t already covered.
A quick look at some of the top tips of the book reveals that this is yet another book saying the same old thing.
Many of the tips such as not blaming your current boyfriend for your ex-boyfriend’s mistakes, being okay to fight as long as your quick to forgive, making sure the sex is good or he won’t stick around, and making sure invest just as much into your brain and business as you do your body are all things we’ve heard before… over and over and over again.
Don’t get me wrong, both of the men have good intentions by releasing the book and they both admitted to having their own daughters in mind.
“We both have daughters and we have a responsibility as fathers to advise and give women the heads up about what is around the corner,” the 34-year-old R&B and actor said. “There are so many women out here who want to love and be loved, but they just don’t understand what to do. I refuse to sit back as a father and say, ‘Figure it out.’”
Rev. Run chimed in and pointed out that “Manology” is intended to be a “man-ual” for women so they don’t get “man-ipulated.”
It’s true that women need to be familiar with some of men’s natural tendencies so they can better prepare themselves but what I find problematic is the fact that every dating guide (especially for African American women) takes the angle of “let us be men and you just get ready to deal with it.”
Let’s face it, Tyrese said it himself right? He wanted to give his daughters a “heads up about what is around the corner.” Well why is all the attention on how women should brace themselves instead of on how men should treat a lady who is worth their time?
It’s almost as if women are being blamed for every failed relationship because they didn’t know how to keep their man from cheating or flirting. Somehow it became our fault that a large portion of men don’t know how to tell the difference between a girl that should be a one night stand a women that should be his wife.
So instead of teaching women how to keep an eye out for the man who is truly worth her time, instead we only receive advice on how we should cope with the average man who can’t keep his hands to himself.
It seems a little one-sided and unfair. How many men are out there trying to pick up a book that talks about the inner working of women? None… because they could care less. In today’s day and age the lesson is: learn how to play the game better than the player or sit out on the bench and be lonely forever.
Well we say women should indeed learn the game, but that doesn’t mean we need to play it. Instead of running around on the court trying to play the game, we need to be sitting court side watching the shenanigans with a man who decided a long time ago that he doesn’t have time for games anymore.
Perhaps the most popular tip that Rev. Run, Tyrese, Steve, Dr. Phil and many other experts are constantly throwing around is the fact that women need to stop trying to change their man.
“The worst thing you can do is grab a man and fix him up,” Rev. Run writes in the book. “Only God can do that, so don’t crack the whip. What you can do is introduce him to a better way of life. Show him the truth and let him decide for himself.”
“…introduce him to a better way of life?” You mean try to convince him that we are worth his time? Well why doesn’t he also have the same responsibility to prove to us that he is worth our time?
With so many books out about what women are doing wrong in the dating world, there is little to no responsibility on the men to… well… man up.
So while we appreciate the good intentions, Mr. Run and Mr. Gibson, we are fed up with hearing about everything we are doing wrong and nothing about what the right guy should be doing for us.
The “strap on ladies and get ready to deal with us because we don’t feel like changing” logic is getting old and it’s getting old fast.
Take a break from schooling the ladies and start schooling the men too. After all, love was never intended to be a game – we’re just starting to accept it as one.