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7 Steps to a Better Relationship

If you want to date, relate well with others or have a successful marriage, there is no skill set more important than that of listening. Our first three tips will supercharge your listening. (By the way, they’ll also help create a sense of intimacy and who doesn’t want intimacy?)

1. Learn the Art of True Listening
Our definition of true listening is to hear what the other person has to say from their point of view. Really hear it. True listening is an art form that most of us did not learn growing up in our families, amongst our friends, or in school. True listening requires being in the moment and letting go of your point of view, your thoughts, and your agendas.

2. Put Your Listening Ears On and Become the World’s Greatest Uni-tasker
Your mind is a complex and brilliant microprocessor, capable of performing many tasks in an infinitely small time frame. That’s one of the reasons why slowing yourself down to simply listen is often a challenge. Don’t your thoughts often shoot off in multiple directions when listening to your date or your mate? It’s time to take a breath, put down that to-do list and be there to really listen. You can do it. It’s fun, too.

3. Listen With Your Eyes
Look directly at your partner or the person you are dating or spending the evening with. Engage as if you are listening to the words and the essence of what he or she is saying, not only with your ears but with your eyes as well. If you do this you are much more likely to hear what is actually being said. You will have a direct experience of the person across from you, which is much more satisfying — for you and the other person — than thinking it all through.

4. Be Kind to Yourself
In our most private thoughts the majority of us are very hard on ourselves. We are our own harshest critics, finding fault and thinking we should do our lives differently or better…

Read more: Ariel & Shya Kane, Huffington Post

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