Every woman has been through one: a bad breakup. Every woman also has the same potential of overcoming a bad breakup and looking forward to love again. To keep from wallowing in your pity for too long avoid these major pitfalls so love can find you again sooner than later.
In my new novel The First Husband, the protagonist Annie Adams is a travel writer whose life changes on a dime. Out of nowhere, her longtime boyfriend walks into the home they’ve been sharing for years and unceremoniously tells her he is leaving her. While a lot of women would take this opportunity to wallow in a big bowl of Ben & Jerry’s, Annie makes a different decision. She walks into a bar, starts talking to an adorable chef named Griffin. And marries him.
Regardless of how this ultimately works out for Annie (no spoiler alert!), one could rightly say that walking into a bar and marrying the first man you talk to is a rash decision. Here are several other things that are wise to avoid after a breakup.
1. Don’t listen to your female best friend
This advice may sound counterintuitive, but it’s still true. Your best friend is there to make you feel better. That is her job and she’s good at it — which means she is probably not as good at giving you tough love when your heart is broken. So when she says, “call your ex if you need to” or “I’m sure he is coming back to you,” what she really means is “I love you and I’m here for you.” Listen to that part. But if you’re looking for advice? Call your male best friend. He’ll tell you how it actually is.
2. Don’t contact your ex.
3. Don’t contact any other ex either
4. Basically, don’t turn on your phone or email between 10 p.m. – 7 a.m.
5. Don’t listen to Damien Rice on repeat
6. Don’t think the answer is at the bottom of the Ben & Jerry’s container
7. Don’t think his Facebook page has good news for you
8. Don’t think your Facebook page is going to convince him to come back
9. Don’t think you’ll always feel this badly
10. And whatever you do…Don’t walk into a bar and marry the first guy you see