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Couples Forgoing Marital Bed for Separate Bedrooms

Modern couples are increasingly following in the footsteps of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo and are sleeping separately. However, instead of separate beds, they are taking it further and sleeping in completely different rooms. Iris Krasnow, author of “The Secret Lives of Wives: Women Share What It Really Takes To Stay Married,” became interested in this trend after someone left a comment on one of her essays for the Huffington Post. “My beloved Mary is upstairs right now taking a private nap in her own bedroom,” wrote the commenter, Al. “We’ve been together for 18 years and we credit the fact that we have our own personal spaces to the success of our stable and loving relationship.”

She decided to do some more research and she was surprised at her findings. “Many couples I interviewed keep that mystery alive through separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms that separate their sex lives and annoying personal rituals,” wrote Krasnow. Her husband, an architect, also told her that more clients are requesting separate sleeping quarters.

The National Association of Homebuilders conducted a survey and found that couples have different reasons for wanting to sleep together, ranging from conflicting schedules to different sleep patterns. “Perhaps the couple has incompatible work schedules. One person is a TV anchor or a nurse and has to get up at 4 am and the other is an attorney who isn’t expected at work until 10 am,” said Stephen Melman, director of economic services for the organization. “Maybe there is a health issue: the husband has a sleep apnea machine and the wife can’t sleep with the buzzing all night. Or maybe this couple just wants to keep some mystery in their marriage.”

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