After weeks of speculations and questions from fans, Taraji P. Henson has finally revealed that her relationship with former NFL player Kelvin Hayden is over.
Henson, her best friend and executive director of The Boris L. Henson Foundation, Tracie Jade Jenkins, and marriage and family therapist Jay Barnett sat down with ‘”The Breakfast Club” hosts to talk about mental health and the new Facebook talk show “Peace of Mind with Taraji.” About 15 minutes into the interview, Charlemagne Tha God asked Henson and Jenkins, “How in the hell do y’all deal with us trauma-filled men and how do sistas create a safe space for us to be vulnerable?”
Jenkins took on the question first, making her point that going into a relationship with “the desire to understand” will allow the man to open up.
Henson agreed with Jenkins that understanding is key and that “it’s not about winning, it’s about understanding.” She followed up with the message that “no one is perfect,” while noting that “you can only build if you are actively dealing with your trauma.”
The “Baby Boy” actress continued, “And a lot of times it’s difficult, and I’m dedicated to the Black man yall. I just turned 50.” She took a pause before continuing, “I haven’t said it yet, but it didn’t work out. You know what I mean and I tried. I was like therapy, let’s do the therapy thing but if you’re both not on the same page with that then you feel like you’re taking it on yourself. And that’s not a fair position for anybody to play in a relationship.”
She went on, “My happiness is not his responsibility and his happiness is not mine. We have to first learn how to make ourselves happy, to make each other happy. And so, when one person is taking on the weight of the entire relationship it’s never going to work. You have to show up and yes you want to be understanding, but you can’t lose yourself in that understanding. You have to still stand up for yourself, and be there for yourself. But it’s hard to do if the other person isn’t doing their part either. And that’s why relationships are so difficult.”
Speculations about the status of Henson’s relationship to her ex-fiancé rose after he was not seen on social media with Henson when she vacationed in Mexico last month for her birthday. Fans also noticed that Hayden did not even wish Taraji a happy birthday on social media, raising more questions.
Henson, 50, and Hayden, 37, got engaged back in 2018 after three years of dating. In December 2015, Henson confirmed her relationship on ESSENCE’s “Yes Girl!” podcast, saying “You know, I’m not the type to blast my personal business, but you know, I think that it’s important for people to know that I’m happy. I’m very very happy. I just am. We’ve been together for two years. And no one would really know that because I don’t blast my info like that, but I’m very happy.”
The couple initially planned to say “I do” in April of this year, but pushed it back to June because of work schedules, and delayed it once more to July because of the pandemic.
