“Frenemy” is a noun with nuance; its definition does not do it justice. A frenemy is a person who can never fully be trusted and must be approached with the utmost caution. This relational phenomenon is pretty much omnipresent in the start-up ecosystem.
A Businessweek article stated frenemies in the workplace are common due to increasingly informal environments and the “abundance of very close, intertwined relationships that bridge people’s professional and personal lives.”
When I started a business with a friend, we soon shared an apartment that doubled as our office. Post-graduation, my MBA classmates subsequently became my friends, my employees, and sometimes my competition, and my former professor became one of my investors. Intertwined? Indeed.
In this ever-shrinking world, six degrees of separation dwindle down to just two, and fresh introductions are colored by the association of “mutual Facebook friends.” This combination leads startups to become a quintessential breeding ground for frenemies.
How to avoid enemies, keep friends, and benefit from frenemies:
1. Realize that frenemies are unavoidable.
In the world of startups, the same faces and names quickly become commonplace; the community is small and made smaller by their technological prowess and resultant higher interconnectedness.
The nature of entrepreneurs makes them inherently more likely to fall into the frenemy category. We are generally type-A, competitive, and motivated to change the world. But people associate success with different costs. Take part in the collaborative nature of the community, learn from them, teach them, but be aware that the motives of others are not always pure.
2. Build trust circles that layer like Russian nesting dolls.
I had a former classmate work remotely for me as a research consultant, while I was simultaneously helping him secure a venture capital job. I had spent many months creating investor decks, lists of prospective investors and partners, strategy plans, and financial projections. When he fell off the map for a few weeks, he responded that he found a job. I was happy for him.
Two months later I found out he had become the CEO of one of our competitors; the copy on their site was taken directly from our materials. As a bootstrapping, lean startup, we didn’t have the resources to pursue the matter further than an email request copying our lawyers. Everyone working for you as a founder should sign a confidentiality and IP assignment agreement. Give limited access to employees who are not fully committed and trustworthy.
3. Know your strenghts, and acknowledge strengths in others.
Like a sports team, every player has a role, but as new people come in, roles change. In the startup world, we as founders and first employees wear many hats, but must be able to know when someone is smarter. Inevitably, someone will be.
Read more: Venture Beat
