Oprah Winfrey and her longtime partner Stedman Graham have figured out the key to maintaining their decades-spanning relationship—and it has a lot to do with romantic expectations.
The media mogul delves into the three things every human wants in the latest offering of “The Oprah Podcast” featuring relationship expert Esther Perel.
In a snippet of their conversation shared on Instagram, the two women are shown in the throes of discussing one of the major catalysts behind failed attempts at love.
“Everybody expects your partner now to really be what the realm of the divine used to be in people’s lives. Isn’t that too much?” asks Winfrey.
Perel answers, “I think it is. I think we cannot have one person give us what the whole community should represent…I think that we are actually overburdening our relationships, and then we get very disillusioned.”
The former talk show host briefly interjects to say, “Because you don’t fulfill all of those things, I’m gonna eliminate you from my life because you are not perfect.”
The psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author shared, at that point, many people adopt the mindset of, “I’ll find someone else who I think can actually meet all my needs.”
Her remark was met with Winfrey’s “And then that person’s not going to be able to do it either,” as the clip ends. In the comment section, multiple viewers agreed with the women’s perspective. Some even provided anecdotes of how they too arrived at that same understanding.
A like-minded follower typed, “One person can’t be your whole village!!!” Though one reaction revealed that not everyone was onboard with the conversation. “Yes they can. Oprah can’t talk. Enough said,” someone else commented.
A third commenter wrote, “Toxic,” but did not elaborate on if their response was aimed at the message or a declaration about the two ladies.
Moreover, one person found themselves distracted by Perle’s appearance as they quipped, “She somewhat resembles Martha Stewart.”
Winfrey and Graham have been together since 1986. The business adviser proposed to her in 1992, and she said yes, though she later revealed having doubts soon afterward.
“I realized I didn’t actually want a marriage. I wanted to be asked,” Winfrey wrote in a 2020 op-ed column in O magazine.
She further admitted, “I wanted to know he felt I was worthy of being his missus, but I didn’t want the sacrifices, the compromises, the day-in-day-out commitment required to make a marriage work. My life with the show was my priority, and we both knew it.”
An ex who spoke with People that same year described Graham as “marriage-shy,” claiming that he was a “proud man” who was deeply hurt when his first marriage ended in divorce.
