My older sister has always been very secretive about her personal affairs. You would be surprised to know that no one in our family has ever met any of her boyfriends until recently when she got married. We don’t know why she is the way she is; we have come to expect very little when it comes to knowing what is going on in her life.
Because she has been this way all of our lives, I decided to take the same approach. I have kept my personal affairs to myself as well. A year after my sister’s wedding, I met a wonderful man myself. So far, I have kept our relationship a secret, just as my sister has done all of our lives. He and I have been dating for months now, and things are getting pretty serious. It’s become so severe that I decided to take him out on a double date with some of my friends and their boyfriends. It was at this at this outing that he proposed! Everyone was snapping photos and even posted them to their social media before I could.
The next day, my sister showed up at my apartment with rage in her eyes and a tongue-lashing for me. She told me that she couldn’t believe I would get engaged to her ex, with whom she had been madly in love. What? Her ex? I asked her what she was talking about, and she pointed out that she had dated my current fiancé for years, that he had broken it off with her out of the blue, and she had never gotten over him. I asked her how I was supposed to know she had dated him if she had never introduced him to me or brought him around our family.
My fiancé was upset to hear about what had happened. He felt guilty, although neither of us had done anything malicious. When I showed him a picture of my big sister, he just shook his head and admitted that he and my sister had dated but had moved on years ago. He and I agreed that this situation is very complicated, but we are determined to make it work somehow — with or without my family’s blessing.
However, this has created drama in my family. My sister has told my parents and other siblings, and they’re pressuring me to end things. She makes it seem like I stole her man when that’s false. I did not know about their past, and I don’t think it’s fair.
Should I proceed with my engagement at the cost of being an outcast in my family?
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