My mother-in-law has always been a bit overbearing; even when my husband and I were dating, she did her best to control our relationship. Now that we’re seven years in and two children later, she has calmed down, but only very, very little. Now, she has moved her controlling ways to our young kids, trying to dictate what and how we should raise them. But her main focus is baby number three.
I am planning to deliver our third child in just under three weeks, and I’ve heard that she plans to come home from the hospital with us to stay for a week. Um, no! I have no desire to have my mother-in-law up under me while I’m trying to breastfeed and bond with my new baby, especially since I’m not a brand-new mother; her help just really isn’t needed. In addition, my own mother lives just 10 minutes away and would feel some kind of way if I allowed such a thing to take place.
My husband treads very lightly when it comes to matters involving his mother and me because he doesn’t like being caught in the middle. When he told me about his mother coming to stay for a week, he said it on his way out the door. I think he did that intentionally, so I wouldn’t have time to decline the offer. I intend on having a lengthy conversation with him about the fact that I need and want my privacy at this time and that her presence would infringe upon that greatly.
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I already know what he’s going to say. ‘She just wants to help, babe, so let her help.’ On the contrary, I think she just wants to be nosey and see how I’m rearing my new baby. But I have a counteroffer for her. She’s welcome to take our other two children and keep them for a week at her house if she wants to help like she says she does.
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Are my feelings valid, or am I being a momzilla for not wanting my mother-in-law in the mix right after our new baby is born?
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