I grew up the oldest of eight siblings. My parents were hard-working citizens who chose to have a large family. I was charged with the responsibility of helping to raise my younger brothers and sisters, and I enjoyed doing so for the most part. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens and started seeking autonomy that it bothered me to have to stay in on a Friday night to babysit. My siblings were cramping my teenage style, and my parents knew it but were too busy working to step in and take over.
As I got older, I decided I didn’t want to have my own kids. I saw how much it took to actually raise a child and then keep it on a straight and narrow path after that. The work involved was just more than I wanted to put in, so I intentionally made the decision not to procreate. When I met women, I would lead with this fact to allow them to move on if they saw children in their futures. Most women thought they could change my mind, but it just wasn’t happening.
I’ve been married for six years, and my wife and I are the best of friends. You rarely see one of us without the other, and we are truly a match made in heaven. In many ways, we are total opposites, but in other ways, we’re so similar that it’s scary. One thing we have always agreed on was not to have children. But lately, I’ve been getting the feeling that I actually might want to have at least one. I have no doubt that I would be an excellent father and parent, having had so much practice growing up.
I have tried to broach the subject on several occasions, but something always comes up that prevents me from bringing the matter up to my wife. I already know she is going to be against the idea 100 percent, but I actually have reached a point where I definitely want a child of my own.
What do I do if the love of my life and I differ on a topic that could be a deal-breaker for either one of us?
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