My current boyfriend is a bit of a wild child in comparison to me. He’s adventurous in daily life, and when it comes to our intimate moments, he’s most certainly more expressive and exploratory. He’s been trying endlessly to get me to come out of my shell, but I struggle in that area. It’s to the point that he just realizes that he has to accept me for who I am and be happy with me regardless.
In spite of our differences in the bedroom, we have started paying bills together in order to prepare for marriage. I think he’s going to propose to me soon, and I’m so excited at the possibility of this happening on the next major holiday. So, needless to say, I was completely caught off guard when I opened our computer and saw a video of him and his ex-girlfriend in a compromising position. I quickly slammed the computer shut and went to confront him in the living room, where he was playing video games.
I asked him why I had just been visually assaulted by a video of him and his ex on our laptop. He shamefully turned toward me and admitted that he watches the videos because I refuse to make new ones with him. He claims that he only watches them when bored and wishes he had video material of the two of us instead. He adamantly denied having any sort of feelings tied to his ex whatsoever and reiterated that it only happens out of boredom — nothing more, nothing less.
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Since this happened, my boyfriend has been on his very best behavior around the house. The trash gets taken out, and the dishes get done without my so much as looking in their direction. But I’m still very hurt and feeling betrayed by him. He has suggested that we go to couples counseling to address our differences when it comes to intimacy, but I’m not sure what I want to do.
Should his sketchy obsession with spicy videos of his ex be a deal-breaker for me, or should I try involving a third party to salvage the relationship?
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