Our Adopted Daughter Is Threatening the Safety of Our Biological Child. Should We Opt Out While We Still Have the Chance?

Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mother, but I had a desire to adopt as opposed to having my own children. As I got older, that desire began to burn inside of me, and I started doing research about becoming an adoptive parent. When I met my now husband, he was open to adoption as long as we had kids, and so we decided to take the journey together. But while on the path, we ended up getting pregnant with our own biological child.

It was very unexpected, but we embraced the pregnancy and, six years after our daughter was born, continued on with plans for adoption. At this point, we feel we are as expert as we can possibly be as parents and that we have room to house another child in our home as well as our hearts. We also opted to go through the probationary period with a child of the same sex as our own.

Our Adopted Daughter Is Threatening the Safety of Our Biological Child. Should We Opt Out While We Still Have the Chance?
Little girls and father play in yard. (Photo: Pexels.com)

Early on, we noticed there was a lot of bickering going on between the girls that usually ended with our daughter coming to us crying about something that her adopted sister Natasha had done. When we’d question Natasha about her alleged infraction, she’d look at us in disbelief and deny any guilt until the cows came home. We have been chalking it all up to the fact that the girls are both very young and vying for attention from my husband and me by any means necessary. That was until our biological daughter ended up with a broken arm.

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She said she was standing on the edge of the bed when our adopted daughter came up behind her and pushed her off. While our daughter is healing, we are in serious talks about sending our adopted daughter back and opting out of the adoption. Our case worker assures us that we wouldn’t be the first family to exercise our right not to adopt based on reservations.

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She also told us that we should preserve our current family dynamic at all costs and not compromise it for anything or anyone. However, I’ve grown fond of Natasha, and I feel terrible about rejecting her when she has already been abandoned by her biological parents.

Should we put our adopted daughter back into the system for fear that she and our biological daughter won’t get along or bite the bullet and adopt her, hoping things begin to look up?

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