My younger brother and I have a very tight-knit relationship and sibling bond. Our parents split up when he was seven and I was 12, and from that point on, he struggled with authority and staying out of trouble.
My mother did her very best to provide us with structure and discipline, but my brother was unfazed. At the ripe age of 13, he stole a car and was caught and had to go away to a juvenile detention center. Once he came back home, he stayed on the straight and narrow until his adult years.
I was at dinner with my girlfriends last weekend when I received a collect call from jail. It was my brother telling me he had been doing time for check fraud. All I knew was that he hadn’t been in touch for a couple of years, and he said it was because he hadn’t wanted to bother me with his nonsense.
I felt relieved that my brother had served his time without seeking me out to come to save him like he had done so many times in the past. But he did have a favor to ask. He needed to list an address upon his release where he would be living for a certain period of time. He explained it’s a formality that helps authorities keep tabs on prisoners even after they go home.
I was between a rock and a hard place. My husband travels for work and is seldom home. He and my brother have a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. My husband grew up in a middle-class, two-parent home where everyone played by the rules and took pride in being law-abiding citizens.
My husband doesn’t know how it is to grow up without food in the fridge, not knowing whether the lights will come on when you flip the switch. But my brother and I know that type of struggle very well.
I told my brother he could list the home address for me and my husband. He was so grateful but was also concerned about how my husband would take my decision. I assured my brother that I would handle that and implored that he not worry about it.
However, my husband was totally against it. We had a huge blowup, and things have been very tense between us since. Still, my brother needs somewhere to go when he gets out.
Should I keep trying to convince my husband, or should I break the news to my brother that I will have to turn my back on him in order to respect my husband’s wishes?
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