Jay-Z and Beyoncé welcomed their oldest daughter Blue Ivy in 2012.
(Theo Wargo/Getty Images)
A new report credits Blue Ivy Carter for keeping Beyoncé and Jay-Z together after the rapper’s infidelity. However, staying in a marriage for children isn’t necessarily healthy and a psychotherapist is explaining why people try to do so anyway.
“The desires to give children, what is believed to be, the best opportunity for stability and ‘happiness’ often motivates couples to remain together even when they are not happy,” said Dr. SaDohl Goldsmith Jones, owner-psychotherapist of Jones Counseling & Consulting in Atlanta. “This often happens if one or both parents have experienced divorce and do not want to repeat their own parents ‘mistakes.’ In which case, they are willing to make the effort and repair the trust in their marriage in order to keep their family together.”
While Bey and Jay have never been married and therefore never have been divorced before their 2012 nuptials, they have experienced broken relationships. Beyoncé’s father, Mathew Knowles, cheated on her mother, Tina Lawson, during their 31-year marriage, which ended in divorce. And Jay’s dad abandoned he and his three siblings, along with mom Gloria Carter.
A source told People magazine it was Jay and Bey’s older daughter who played a role in keeping the couple united.
“It was very rough for them to stay married,” said the source. “It took Beyoncé a long time to trust again. She was struggling to move on and forgive. But keeping her family together was very important.”
“If it’s [sic] wasn’t for Blue Ivy, they might not be together. It took them years to get to the point where they are now.”
The insider noted the couple, who experienced Jay-Z’s admitted infidelity before twins Rumi and Sir Carter were born, mended their issues in therapy. It’s something Jones recommends for couples who are in the same boat.
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“It is not healthy to stay together for the kids,” she said to Atlanta Black Star. “However, it is healthy to seek professional help via therapy to work through marital issues when both people are willing to do the work it takes to repair what is broken and commit to each other. It also helps if the couple seeks individual therapy to work through their individual issues. It will help them make the best decision for themselves, their marriage and their children.”
In addition to speaking to a therapist, Jay said his album, “4:44” and Beyoncé’s “Lemonade” record, was like speaking to a professional for the two of them.
“We were using our art almost like a therapy session,” he said of their albums which contain themes of marriage trouble. “We really have a healthy respect for one another’s craft.”
But Jones said that actual therapy is needed to explore whether or not a couple should remain together. And that while children can cause a couple to decide to stay married, she said, they shouldn’t be the main reason.
“Children will grow up and leave home and the couple will still be faced with the same issues,” Jones said. “Likewise, if the individuals in the marriage are not happy they will experience anxiety, depression and other feelings that will impact their overall mental and physical health.”
“For the success of the marriage and for the growth of the individual, each person has to be willing to be self-reflective and honest with themselves about why they are where they are in their marriage,” she added of how couples can take steps to decide what’s best for them.
