Almost Anything Ending with ‘The Rest of Them’
“You’re quieter than the rest of them.” “You’re prettier than the rest of them.” “You’re smarter than the rest of them.” “You’re not like the rest of them.”
Who exactly is the “rest of them” and why is it so important that a Black woman strives to be better than the “rest of them”? Are you suggesting that the only way to compliment a Black woman is to suggest she is nothing like the rest of her people? This faux compliment is yet another cringe-worthy way to suggest that Black women are expected to be loud, unintelligent, classless human beings.
Anything Ending in “For a Black Girl”
The same principle applies here. “You’re smart for a Black girl.” “You’re pretty for a Black girl.” “You’re so nice for a Black girl.”
These types of comments are wrong on many levels, the first being the inherent assumption that Black women aren’t usually smart, pretty or nice. The message here is simple — the way to compliment a Black girl or anyone for that matter is not to devalue the rest of their people.

