Kelly Rowland, 32, is getting to a place of comfort with herself. The former Destiny’s Child singer covers the September issue of Essence magazine and revealed that reaching that place of comfort took some work.
Rowland admitted she “used to be nervous about sharing her real feelings ’cause I didn’t want anybody to judge me. But now I don’t care. Judge me if you want to. And as a matter of fact, it won’t even count, cause the only person who can judge is God.’”
In early June, Rowland released her record “Dirty Laundry” opening up about being jealous of former bandmate Beyonce. The lyrics included:
“When my sister was on stage killin it like a mother f***er/ I was enraged, feelin’ it like a mother f***er/ Bird in a cage/ You would never know what I was dealin’ with/ Went our separate ways but I was happy she was killin’ it.”
In the September issue of Essence, Rowland revealed that despite being jealous of Beyonce’s success, her struggle was personal.
“For a long time I wasn’t happy, but that had nothing to do with Beyonce. That had to do with me trying to get my life in order and make better decisions for myself. I’m seeing all these wonderful things happen for her and I am happy for her. But I want a path. I want things to pop off for me, too.”
While Beyonce is undoubtedly the standard for success, Rowland admits she’s seeking a more modest measure of success.
“Not on her level but whatever my level is supposed to be.”