Losing a significant relationship in life is never easy, especially after you and your former partner walked a journey together. The loss can feel like emotional amputation. You may feel sad and alone, as if you’re missing an important part of yourself. If you were on the receiving end of a breakup, you may feel angry, rejected or betrayed.
The good news is that the sadness doesn’t last forever, and brighter days lay ahead. Below are seven tips to healing and finding happiness again:
1. Let Yourself Grieve
When we feel pain from a loss, allowing ourselves time to grieve is one of the most important steps in the healing process. Find healthy outlets where you can safely express your emotions. Have a good cry (or a few), talk with supportive friends, write in a journal, see a counselor, or pray to your maker. Acknowledge the pain and hurt. Those who don’t allow themselves to grieve carry repressed pain that will inevitably affect future relationships. When you let yourself grieve, you give to yourself the gift of tenderness. In time, the sadness diminishes, and the tears fall less. Your healing has already begun.
“We can endure much more than we think we can; all human experience testifies to that. All we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don’t deny it, don’t be overwhelmed by it. It will not last forever. One day, the pain will be gone and you will still be there.”
― Harold Kushner
2. Take Care Of And Pamper Yourself
It’s easy to feel sorry for oneself after separation, and in doing so neglect your own wellbeing. Some people self-blame, while others go into victimhood. There may be an urge to mope endlessly and wallow negatively. Some punish themselves consciously or unconsciously.
If you find yourself engaging in any of the above, may I ask have you decided to break up with yourself as well? Did you abandon the most important person in your life — YOU?
The more difficult the separation, the more important it is to take good care of yourself. Eat well and exercise. Do something to pamper yourself everyday — be it a hot bath, fragrant tea, fresh flowers, or massage at a spa. Be your own best friend. You absolutely deserve it!
“Get on good terms with yourself and see how quickly others get on good terms with you.” ― Napolean Hill
Read more: Preston Ni, Psychology Today