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Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson Are Juiced In New ‘Pain And Gain’ Trailer

The newest movie made just for men, Pain And Gain, has a hot new trailer out, starring Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Tony Shaloub, Rebel Wilson, Ed Harris, and Anthony Mackey. This action comedy is jam packed with rock hard abs, perfect pecs, protein powder, steroids, scantily clad women, and plenty of Michael Bay sponsored over-the-top action. As far as I can tell a large chunk of the movie takes place in a gym or during some sort of workout, where Mark Wahlberg gets to show off his bulging biceps or Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson boasts his throbbing back muscles.

Pain and Gain follows two steroid abusing, idiotic bodybuilders (Wahlberg and Johnson) as they plan to kidnap and extort one of Miami’s wealthy elite Victor Kershaw (Tony Shaloub), only to have their poorly hatched plan go terribly awry. The duo become wrapped up in their failed criminal antics and are hunted by lethal private detective, Ed Du Bois (Ed Harris) after the meatheads somehow manage to evade Miami P.D. The most absurd part of it all? This is based on a true story. Only in America.

My eyes actually hurt from the amount of eye rolling I did while watching this two minute preview. I can see it now – every current and former frat boy from USC to Syracuse will be lined up in tank tops to see this on opening night, each sipping protein drinks and casually doing curls whilst waiting in to purchase tickets.

My first major eye roll occurred right away. The trailer opens with Mark Wahlberg doing crunches on a bar  in the middle of a gym logo mural and he’s telling himself “I’m hot, I’m big.” His set is interrupted by a barrage of police cars, likely coming to arrest him. He makes a run for it, grabbing his track jacket to complete his white track suite ensemble. His next line? “My name is Daniel Lugo and I believe in fitness,” then he gets hit by a cop car. Cue eye roll number two, they only keep coming from there. I understand Michael Bay is going for the ultimate male comedy with Pain and Gain, but I just can’t believe that the actors are actually acting and this might be a little typecasting, especially for The Rock….

I wouldn’t be surprised if Dr. Pepper 10 sponsors for the movie, considering the Pain and Gain, and that soda, are “not for women.” Ladies, be warned now, while there are plenty of bulging muscles and shirtless scenes, this movie is no Magic Mike

Prepare for your fair share of eye rolls and the occasional chortle as you watch the latest trailer for Pain and Gain, due out April 2013.

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