Arguing Can Be Good for a Relationship…When It’s Done Constructively

Relationships can be hard, and sometimes tempers can flair and emotions can run high. This can lead to someone saying something that’s really hard to take back. Constant bickering and explosive battles can really take a toll.

So what’s a couple to do? Give up arguing? Impossible… you can’t help but argue with the person you love sometimes. It’s unrealistic to vow that you’ll never argue again; the solution is to learn how to argue more constructively.

Why Couples Argue

Arguing is not necessarily a sign that a relationship is unstable. If you care that much about someone, and share that much of your life with a person, it’s only natural that there would be conflicts. Arguments are born out of passion, which is a sign of caring.

When you are worried that your honey isn’t taking good enough care of himself, or that she’s been working too much and not paying enough attention to you, it could lead to an argument. What’s really at the core of the conflict is the message, “I care about you.”

Other arguments are due to a breakdown in communication— one or both parties are having a hard time expressing feelings, or one or both of you is having a hard time understanding. Breakdowns in communication lead to frustration. Again, it indicates you care enough to be frustrated by communication breakdowns.

Destructive Arguing

Arguments can create deterioration in a relationship if your method is destructive. Destructive arguing would include belittling, degrading or disrespecting one another. When you yell, “You’re stupid, I hate you!” or, “You’re a freaking cow, and if you keep it up I’m leaving!” in the heat of anger, it really hurts.

It’s got nothing to do with the issues that set you both off; it’s a personal attack on the other person. Even when the argument is over, the pain of these attacks do not go away.

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