In most families mom and dad are both working. Financial stressors, and keeping up with busy kids; there isn’t time enough for anything including each other. The first thing to get deleted off our calendars is usually playtime together as a couple. Playtime is thought of as wasteful, and we have our hands full making sure our kids get a little time outdoors. If you ask yourself when the last time was that you played with your partner, you may smile and remember back to pre-marriage days.
That smile in your memory may be long gone from the present day-to-day routine you have established. If you feel as though you haven’t played or enjoyed an activity with your partner in a long time, you could be missing one of the most important keys to making a marriage fun and long lasting. In fact, men are more affected by the loss of play than women are, partly because guys want a wife they can do things with and call their best friend.
The University of Denver has researched the area of couples playing together, and the findings support the need for couples to have fun together. When couples enjoy activities or leisure time together they also note their stress levels decreasing emotionally as well as achieving a physical release of built up tension. Laughing is so important, as is feeling connected with one another. Play enhances both of these important aspects of health.
The only part of couple play that is important is to have fun and enjoy one another’s friendship and companionship. Howard Markman Ph.D., who hosts retreats with couples, distinguishes between leisure time and couples’ playtime, noting that couples who watch TV or use the Internet together do not build the same positive connections as couples who have fun engaged in an activity together. This may be because that for guys, intimacy and friendship becomes more likely if the couple is physically active or engaged with something such as a game of golf or fishing, whereas for women, intimacy and friendship are more important. Those needs are met by talking. The key is playing or having fun together and being able to talk during the activity…
Read more: Your Tango
