In my twenties, my alert factor wasn’t as astute as now in my thirties, so some messages she gave probably weren’t learned as quickly as I come to pick up on now. I’m not a mother yet, but I think the challenges of birthing a human, ensuring their safety from others as well as themselves, being referenced on any decision their child makes, constantly being on guard about their actions while trying to better one’s self has to be one of the most difficult tasks on the planet.
I was a premature baby and a lot of time was required to nurse me healthy so I could leave the hospital. My mother was there to do just that. It’s funny because I was born early, but mostly have been a late bloomer in every aspect of my life. I struggled in school because of some social challenges, but I was still my mother’s child. I felt uneasy when I would hear Oprah asking celebrity parents the dreams they have for their child. Many times I’ve thought, ‘this isn’t the dream my mother would have for me’, but the beauty is I am never made to feel inadequate because of supposed shortcomings.
In grade school through high school, my mom bought us secondhand clothes. I don’t recall being embarrassed and don’t think I understood what having to shop in consignment shops meant…until later. I never felt like I wasn’t good enough because where my clothes came from—never. My mother taught me that my self-worth wasn’t hinged on what I wore. Instead of complaining about where my clothes came from, I mixed and matched, restructured, and repurposed my clothes. My mother always told me that I made the clothes. I remember her vividly peeping her head out the door one morning, shouting in her southern drawl, “you look cute!” as I rushed out the door. I remember the smile I glanced back—priceless! But she always told/tells me when something doesn’t work—healthy feedback which is necessary to recognize truth.
Though I have some ways about me that could be better, the wonderful qualities I have are in-part of who my mother has shown me, what she has taught me, instilled in me, and drove out of me. Many of the no’s I received in life didn’t send me spiraling because of how I saw her coping through the struggles of being a woman…first. She didn’t maximize in unhealthy ways of coping. The hard work she puts into every aspect of her life has been a silent reminder when I want to throw the towel in. My retired mother holds down many jobs now; I don’t know if I want to work that hard though! LOL!
Who my mother is to me is far more than the space I’m allotted to write, but these gifts seem to be pivotal in the makings of the now-Deidre…and deep down, I think this is part of her dream.
Happy Mother’s Day Mother! I love you completely.
While she appreciates a nod in favor of her motherly deeds, she really enjoys gifts that come from the pocket too. LOL! Here are a few gifts she would want any occasion of the year:
I fell in love with this scent and mistakenly introduced to my Mom. She adores scented fragrances especially anything she can dump into a tub of hot water…in one use.LOL!
My Mom loves to smell good at the cost of anyone’s nostrils within two feet. She’s the only woman I know who splashes perfume on at night…every night.
While I would have to provide a lecture why this heel would be acceptable to wear, she loves shoes and sometimes my taste for selecting. Shoes never skip the list of “what do you want?”
When my Mom has a spa day, she is in heaven. She loves being catered to—almost too much. LOL!
My Mom traveled a lot as an Educator, and as a retired teacher, that has not changed. She loves to take trips, even if it’s a mini staycation at a nice hotel.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms! Enjoy!
By Deidre White