Jennifer Lopez is probably equally known for her love life as she is for her varied professional successes. The American Idol judge has been baptized in chastisement for her abounding yo-yoing relationships and having another suitor, at times, in weeks. The “Dance Again” singer’s conclusion of her convoluted personal life of being with men so quickly isn’t the same for men. No one ever called Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs (ironically J Lo’s past suitor) unstable or desperate for the myriad of women he has had sprawled about. Beyond the women’s right movement that could be antidotal planted, could there be a simpler answer? Do men and women love differently?
According to an Archives of Sexual Behavior survey, men are happier in relationships where kissing and cuddling are the prime factors, where as women are happier when they are sexually satisfied.
Shut the front door.
To be clear: The international survey consisted of over 1,000 middle-aged men and women who were mostly in a long-term relationship upwards of 25 years or more.
I immediately thought, ‘that makes sense because women hit their sexual peak in their 30’s.’ While the internet can be most useful to peruse information, conversely, there is also a slew of misleading information as well.
Case and point after further research: “According to Dr. Gardos for healthyplace.com, the notion that women hit their sexual peak at 30 is very misleading…If you are talking about a hormone flux, this is simply not true. Men and women develop the same hormones at the same time: puberty. The only reason why women seem so much more interested at a later age is because we were taught NOT to be interested in sex when we were kids. If you experimented with sex like the boys did, you would be labeled the town Jezebel. Only when women mature are they able to feel more comfortable talking about and practicing sex. They finally open up and begin to feel normal about desiring sex.”
So, could women’s sexuality be more important to them because they are mature enough to block out the chatter that prevented great orgasms? In the interim, women become die-hard caterers to please while in relationships (maybe) because we are fed to think that’s our only position. Once esteem has elevated, so has a need to ensure self (sexual) happiness is a goal.
We really need to be progressive on how women are perceived and treated when they are more sexually evolved than other women. I don’t think there’s a stretch in recognizing that men and women love differently. I do think women have been taught to suppress their sexual desires in light of being labeled a J Lo prototype.
By Deidre White
