My last dating situation was probably one of the worst. In the past I have dealt with a cheating ex who tried to justify his doggish behavior. Honestly I didn’t think any relationship, past or future, could get any worse than that until a few months ago when I dated an insecure man.
Chris looked good on paper. He was intelligent, ambitious, and had a promising career that paid him extremely well. He had great conversation, opened doors, was considerate, and liked to talk about feelings. I soon learned that even I, as a woman, didn’t like talking about feelings as much as he did. Probably because his feelings were accusations targeted towards me.
He snooped my Facebook page (yes, this grown man), interrogated me about childhood guy friends, and even questioned my ‘feelings’ when I didn’t respond back to his calls in what he considered a reasonable amount of time. According to him, I didn’t show that I cared enough and every guy besides him was the person I really wanted to be with.
The first time the jealous accusations occurred I shook them off, partly flattered that he didn’t mind showing he cared. Silly, I know. But the second time when he stalked my Facebook wall picking out posts from guys who had written me before he and I even began dating, I knew I wasn’t in a healthy situation.
After this, our relationship went downhill. If I made a nice comment about another man, he said I didn’t compliment him enough. If I talked about guy coworkers in an innocent manner, he questioned my relationship with them. And if I didn’t answer the phone when he called, he immediately accused me of cheating. These accusations came in the form of long text messages telling me how inconsiderate I was and how I didn’t make him feel wanted.
Insecure men come in all disguises, but most share the common traits of appearing sensitive and caring. To most women a caring man who listens is a hot commodity; but it quickly changes when his insecure traits take over the relationship.
In the article “Is It Love, Or Insecurity?” psychologist Joseph Nowenski, highlights some traits of an insecure man. These include a need for constant reassurance and approval…
Read more: Erica Renee, Madame Noire