I’ve always struggled with identifying true friends, and I need help.
When we have lavish dinners or hang out in the city, I always foot the bill without hesitation, and I truly don’t mind. I just want to feel appreciated and not taken advantage of. It used to be that when the bill came, we would fuss and fight over who was going to pay, and they always gave me a hard time about paying for everything. Now, when the bill comes, no one even reaches for it. There is an expectation that the one with money has got it.
Recently, my only child went off to college, leaving me an empty nester. She wasn’t gone two weeks before one of my friends (and not even a close friend) asked if she could move in until she gets back on her feet. My parents both passed away in my 20s, and my extended family members live out of state, so things can get pretty lonely at times. It would be nice to have company at the house, but I just knew that my friend was going to end up giving me a sob story that will prompt me to allow her to stay rent-free.
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My closest friend and I had dinner earlier this week, and she disclosed that the friend who wants to move in doesn’t have money to pay me rent and plans to offer to cook and clean instead. I can cook and clean myself and don’t need her help with that, but it will make her feel better to contribute in some way, I’m sure. I didn’t think she was going to start out not being able to pay me; I at least thought I would get a few months’ rent before we got to that point.
Should I allow my friend to move in rent-free or express that I need her to pay if she’s going to live with me?
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