Hollywood makes finding “the one” look whimsical and seductive on TV and in movies.
In real life, it can be a more daunting journey, leaving hopeless romantics low on faith and doubtful that they will ever experience their own version of happily ever after.
In a world that emphasizes the “perfect wife” or “perfect husband” lists, seeing people for who they are has become more about checking boxes than authenticity and compatibility.
A religious person might even say that the devil is in the details. In fact, a video clip of the Atlanta-based Change Church Pastor Dr. Dharius Daniels implied just that.
Daniels delivered a sermon titled “Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Person” on Aug. 9, and a clip of his most replayed soundbites exploded on “Dating Threads,” an unofficial sector of IG Threads.
According to him, too many people are tethered to their past relationships, making it easier for the Devil to “do too much damage in people’ life.”
The lingering connections “increase the temptation, then it infects the discernment, ‘cause now the unbiblical exposure has created illogical comparisons,” he explained, evoking cheers from the congregation. “And these illogical comparisons now keep you from seeing other people properly.”
With too many intimate experiences, “now what you want is a combination of everybody,” Daniels preached. “You confused!”
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He paused as the crowd surged with reactions. His follow-up further amplified the moment.
“The exposure has now created illogical comparisons, so now you can’t see virtue accurately… You say you want marriage but not attracted to marriage material… Now you comparing stuff you never should have been able to compare.”
The example harped on “Lucious Lucy” and “Freaky Freddy” for distorting the value of a virtuous mate.
“They had you folded like a pretzel, and now all of a sudden you cannot see straight,” he exclaimed. “You got a wife right in front of you, and you can’t see it, and you got a man that will love you right and provide for you and lead your family, but he boring!”
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The sermon resonated with several viewers whose comments ranged from “He ain’t lying” to “This got me all the way together” and “Relational choices will have emotional consequences.”
Another person half-jokingly stated, “The passion in his body language when he said ‘You’re confused’ was so intense. Like he wanted to come down and smack each and every one of us!”
On YouTube, a viewer contended that Daniels’ message was slightly problematic. The individual wrote, “That’s why the divorce rate in the church is so high because people sometimes rush into marriage out of fear of sinning, rather than taking the time to make sure they’re truly ready and compatible.”
A sixth listener quipped, “This was the uncut and unadulterated truth. It was delivered with no filter nor sugar coating, but it came from a pure heart. That’s what makes purposeful and powerful. It was a message I know I needed to hear. I was yelling PD the entire message”
Not everyone is marriage material, but dating new people and expecting them to measure up to your past could be the thief of future joy.
The sermon may have struck a nerve because modern dating makes comparison almost unavoidable. Social media keeps exes within reach, dating apps turn attraction into a swipe and endless options can make every new person feel like they are competing with someone from the past.
Daniels’ message ultimately raises a harder question: Are people searching for a compatible partner, or chasing a highlight reel made from everyone they have loved before?
