I’m an African-American woman, born and raised in Miami, Florida. I started dating my current boyfriend when we met at a beach party five months ago. We had so much in common that we stood off to the side, talking until the sun came up the next day. It turns out he’s Nigerian and that his family relocated to Miami 20 years ago when he was nine.
I had always heard through the dating grapevine that African men can be aggressive and controlling. I was a little hesitant to date him at first, but as time drew on, I made my own assessment and decided he was a perfect fit for me. He’s kind, a happy soul, and believes in teamwork, making the dream work. Bottom line, he’s Americanized.
Since things have become rather serious, I’m concerned about the fact that I’ve never met any of his family members or friends. They live just around the way from where I live, and in all fairness, since I’ve introduced him to my children and family, I feel it’s only right that I get to meet his people. But there’s always an excuse for why it cannot happen. They’re too busy, he’s too busy, it’s not the right time, they’re out of town, etc., etc., etc.
Now, I’ve begun to make my own assumptions, and it’s driving me crazy. I am starting to think he’s embarrassed by me or does not see a future with me.
I have decided to give him an ultimatum. Either he makes an effort to make a meeting happen between me and his family and his friend group, or I will remove myself from the equation altogether. He’s angry about having his back up against the wall, but I don’t care. He refuses to share why he’s hiding me and won’t admit that he’s doing just that. Am I wrong for giving my boyfriend an ultimatum about being introduced to the special people in his life?
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