I am the proud parent of a daughter, age 27. We just celebrated my daughter’s nuptials a year ago in Cabo San Lucas. It was a beautiful wedding, and a fabulous time was had by all. Now, 12 months later, my daughter and my son-in-law are settling into married life, and things have been a bit rocky.
My daughter has come to me on several occasions venting about my son-in-law and seeking marital advice. The first issue was him staying out late with friends. My advice to her was that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander and that his curfew time should also be her curfew time. She didn’t seem to like that idea and decided to let his indiscretion of coming home late slide.
The next issue she approached me with was far more pressing. She was concerned that their intimacy had fallen off over the past six months or so. She shared very private details about their love life, which surprised me because my daughter is quite conservative but seemed to feel very comfortable opening up to me. I put my discomfort to the side and tried to advise my baby girl to the best of my ability. Thankfully, my layman’s advice seemed to help because she recently reported that they have gotten back on track when it comes to the bedroom.
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Overall, my daughter and son-in-law seem to have a healthy marriage, but they never had pre-marital counseling, which I strongly suggested they should have done. I feel like now they are struggling in areas that could have been identified in order to prevent the obstacles that they are currently facing here and there. I don’t want to scare my daughter away from talking to me, but I also don’t want to be the sounding board for all of her marital woes.
I’m divorced from her father, and part of the reason is that we involved too many people in our marriage. When we faced struggles, we would seek advice outside of each other and come back to the marital table with strong opinions that were not necessarily our own. I want my daughter to avoid this pitfall at all costs.
Should I refrain from providing marital advice and implore my daughter to seek professional counseling for herself and her husband moving forward?
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