I have two rules when it comes to dating in this day and age:
Rule #1: I never post pictures of my significant other and me on social media. Rule #2: I never give my significant other access to any of my social media.
My reasoning for these rules stems from a past situation with an ex. After I posted a picture of us, we broke up just two days later. I was mortified and had to field numerous questions from friends and family. To avoid such situations at all costs, I established my first rule. My second rule came about because my social media persona is a bit more vocal than my real-life personality. I even have a pseudonymous account I post under to make myself less easy to find.”
“When I met the guy I’m currently dating, the first thing he wanted to do was exchange social media handles. I explained my rules of engagement, and he said he understood. Our romance has been a bit of a whirlwind. It’s been two months, and we’re already exclusive, and I’m breaking my rules. I hesitantly posted a picture of us at the park the other day. I feel really good about him and us, so I figured, why not take a chance and see what happens. After I posted it, I realized that even if we did happen to break up, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
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Last week, he convinced me to share my social media handles. I gave up the info without hesitation, and in exchange, he gave me his. Later that day, I spent hours checking out his pages. I didn’t find anything glaring or surprising; he was pretty much the same person he had presented to me: a single black man who enjoys bowling, walking his dog, whiskey, and an occasional cigar. Out of the blue, I received a text that said he and I needed to talk later that evening. We met up at a restaurant, and as soon as I saw him, I knew I was in trouble. He had a look on his face that clearly indicated there was trouble in paradise.
He explained that he had spent time looking through my pages and that he had concerns about some of my scathing opinions and statements regarding men and relationships I’ve made on Instagram, in particular. He said that I have strong negative beliefs about men and that our beliefs are vastly different, which poses a problem for him. The next thing he said was that he didn’t think we were going to work out, and he broke things off with me.
Is it petty to break up with someone because of one’s social media posts and online views?
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