Am I Wrong for Not Allowing My Overly Critical Mother to Attend the Birth of Our Second Child?

My mother has had an issue with my wife since our college days, even before we had kids. Back then, the main point of contention was that she didn’t want my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, living with me. To be fair, my parents were paying the bills for my apartment, but my now-wife and I were deeply in love and just wanted to be together.

Fast forward several years after we both graduated and we finally tied the knot, much to my mother’s chagrin. Shortly after the wedding, we welcomed our son into the world.

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Pregnant Black Woman (Photo: Istock)

As a young couple and new parents, we stumbled along the way. My mother frequently came over to help with our son because my wife had to travel for work. During her visits, she criticized everything and anything she could. Her main points of contention included how my wife maintained the house (semi-clean), the fact that I took on more of the cooking responsibilities than my wife, and last but not least, the fact that my wife not only retained some baby weight but was also pregnant again.

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Eventually, the criticism became so unbearable that I had to ask my mother to stop coming over to the house because it was causing my pregnant wife too much stress. My mother was upset but obliged, continuing to express her harsh opinions to me privately. Although it was hurtful to hear disparaging comments about my wife, I could handle it far better than she could, and rightly so.

Now, as we plan for the birth of our next child and discuss who will be present in the delivery room, my wife has the final say. It was no surprise when she told me that my mother was not welcome during the birth. Looking back over the years up to the present day, I must admit that my mother has exhibited somewhat of a bullying behavior.”

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