I raised my only child to be frugal and save for not only rainy days but sunny ones. It’s the way I was raised, and so I passed this way of life onto my daughter. Five years ago, when she was only 20, she and I were in a bad car accident together. I ended up suing and received a pretty hefty settlement from the case. I didn’t tell my daughter about the settlement but always intended to give her a portion of the money.
When she turned 25, I surprised her with $25,000: $1000 for each year she’s been born. I explained that the majority of the lump sum should go toward purchasing her first home and that the rest should be spent carefully and wisely. We share a bank account, but I don’t make a habit of looking at her expenditures. Out of sheer curiosity, I peeked at the account the other day and was shocked. Close to half of the $25,000 has been spent. I put a hold on the account.
My daughter works full-time as a paralegal and makes good money, so I had no reason to think she was blowing through her house down payment money. However, that’s exactly what she has been doing. I know for a fact she has been to at least three Caribbean islands and on three domestic trips since she got the money, but I assumed she could afford it with her regular savings from her 9 to 5. This is not the child I raised. Before I could confront her, she actually approached me.
My baby girl had the nerve to come to me pleading for $8,000 that she needs for college tuition. She explained that she was coming up short and needed me to help. I was floored. How could she be so irresponsible and careless about how she spent all that money she was gifted? Thank God we weren’t seriously injured in the crash. Money like we received doesn’t come around even once in a lifetime for some people.
Should I give my daughter the $8,000 she is asking for, or should I make her sit out a semester and save on her own to return to school?
Click here to read the full story.
The Center gets to the heart of the lifestyle, parenting, relationships and finance conversations impacting the culture. Convene here to express and share personal and poignant points of view that arise in everyday life.
Send us your queries to [email protected] and let our readers offer some perspectives on how to navigate these conversations.
