My Boyfriend’s Daughter Left Me Out of the Family Tree. Should I Talk to Her About It or Let It Go?

Since I was a little girl, I’ve always wanted to have children of my own. I remember pretending that my baby dolls were real children and taking extra special care of them. When I became an adult, I was devastated to find out that due to circumstances of a medical nature, I would not be able to have kids of my own.

Initially, the news was a huge blow to the maternal instinct that lived inside of me. I wondered how such a cruel turn of events could happen to someone with so much love to give a child. But eventually, I came to accept my fate.

My Boyfriend's Daughter Left Me Out of the Family Tree. Should I Talk to Her About It or Let It Go?
Woman and girl bonding over pie. (Stock photo: Getty Images)

Then I met Kenny. He was too good to be true, I thought, and then when I found out he was a package deal, I was more than happy to embrace my ready-made family. When we met, Kenny had a 4-year-old daughter that he had sole custody of because his ex-wife was constantly deployed.

I met Kenny’s daughter Nicole after four or five dates which was nerve-wracking and exciting all at the same time. She and I really hit it off on our first meet-and-greet, and our relationship has blossomed over the past two years. With her father’s blessing, Nicole and I spend a lot of one-on-one time together when she’s not participating in extracurricular activities or spending time with her friends.

We recently celebrated her sixth birthday at the skating rink, which was truly a blast. The following Sunday, we dropped her father off at the airport to go on a work trip. On Monday, in his absence, I attended her parent/teacher conference and was shown a project she worked on where she had to create her family tree. I immediately recognized that I wasn’t listed on the family tree at all. My knee-jerk reaction was to question Nicole about it, but I had to step back and realize she was just a child.

I had a lengthy conversation with her father about the incident when he returned home. He understood why my feelings were hurt and suggested that we sit down and have a talk with Nicole about the meaning of the family tree and family overall. I’m conflicted because she’s so young, so I’m wondering if we should actually have a sit-down talk with her about what happened or just let it go.

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