Stay Connected
Atlanta Black Star/Culture
CulturefeaturedRelationshipsThe Center

‘Can’t Believe She Could be So Cold and Heartless’: My Girlfriend Wants Me to Cut My Adopted Child Out of My Life Because She’s Pregnant

Posted byBy ABS Contributor | Published on: CommentsComments (5)

When I was married, my ex-wife came into the marriage with a daughter by a man who was deceased. I quickly fell in love with the infant, and decided to adopt her as my own. Eight years later we were divorced, but my relationship with my adopted daughter continues to flourish.  

I have a new girlfriend now, and she is pregnant with our first child together. I couldn’t be more excited and just recently bought us a three-bedroom home for our growing family. I decided to leave the interior design and decorating up to my girlfriend. I naturally would have thought that we would have a room for the new baby and a room for my daughter.

Stock image of a young couple having a disagreement at home. (Getty Images)

Instead, to my surprise, my girlfriend turned the third bedroom into her personal office space.  

Since the inception of our relationship, my girlfriend has never really been supportive of my relationship with my daughter. She avoids spending time with us when I have her and encourages me to spend one-on-one time with her instead.

Recently she told me that when our new baby arrives, she fully expects that I will only be seeing my other daughter on holidays and for school breaks. How can she be so insensitive and selfish? She said that she had expected that I would have grown out of being connected to my adopted daughter by now, and that I needed to be ramping up to show my REAL daughter my attention.  

I’m flabbergasted by my girlfriend’s behavior and stance on my relationship with my adopted daughter. I can’t believe she could be so cold and heartless when it comes to an innocent child. Her justification is that my relationship with my adopted daughter is going to cause confusion with my biological daughter. Before I bought the house, I was considering buying a ring in order to propose to my girlfriend, but now I’m wondering if I should break things off altogether. 

The Center gets to the heart of the lifestyle, parenting, relationships and finance conversations impacting the culture. Convene here to express and share personal and poignant points of view that arise in everyday life.

Send us your queries to [email protected] and let our readers offer some perspectives on how to navigate these conversations.

Independent journalism doesn't fund itself.

We hope this story was worth your time. For over 14 years, Atlanta Black Star has stayed Black-owned and independently run. We didn't get here by waiting on ad budgets that were never built to prioritize us. Our readers did that.

Corporate support for Black media has always been thin. Outlets like ours get roughly 1% of the $170 billion spent on U.S. advertising each year, and that margin is shrinking further as advertisers walk back the DEI-linked commitments they made in 2020. That's the backdrop. It's not why we're asking.

We know a request for support isn't why you came here. But without readers choosing to fund this work directly, the depth of reporting we can do at home and abroad shrinks along with everyone else's. If you're not in a position to give, that doesn't change how much we value you as a reader.

If you are able to, a recurring contribution does more for us than a single one-time gift, because it lets us plan the next investigation instead of just the next invoice. It takes about 30 seconds, no long form, no account. Thank you for continuing to support independent journalism and freedom of the press.

Give once Give monthly Support another way

Related Stories

Back to top