Being single and dating in Atlanta is a job in and of itself. Everyone knows the ratio here is like 14 women to every man, which makes it difficult to hold any man’s attention because they have so many viable options.
I find myself considering all sorts of things, even polyamory due to the challenge of finding one good man of my own. I am trying desperately to remain true to myself, my ethics and my values, but it gets more difficult as the loneliness creeps in and tries to take over. Dating apps are cool, but I prefer meeting men in person and organically letting things flow.
One night two weeks ago while bar hopping with my friends, I ran into one of my girlfriends’ ex-boyfriends. We were all college athletes at the same school and spent a considerable amount of time together when we weren’t practicing our respective sports. I hadn’t seen him in ages, so when he suggested we exchange numbers, I thought nothing of it and was excited to link up.
Later that week he hit me up, and we decided to meet up for dinner and catch up on life and old times. Things went off without a hitch at the restaurant and by the time we were done I found myself inviting him back to my place for drinks with a slightly hidden agenda. Before I knew it, we were in a compromising position back in my bedroom, and I woke up the next day feeling extremely guilty and somewhat remorseful. Had I broken “girl code” with this tryst?
After our one-night stand, the guy called me regularly, and I attempted to neutralize the situation by avoiding going out with him again or spending any additional time at all. But he was relentless. He pursued me and courted me the way I wished other men I was dating would. Eventually, he broke me down, and I agreed to see him again. In essence, he became my maintenance man, and although I was ashamed, I continued to allow him to take care of my most primal needs.
Out of the blue, my college homegirl hit me up and said she’s coming to town and wants to stay with me. I was mortified to hear from her. I haven’t heard from her in years, but it has me wondering if she knows or if somehow she has found out that I’m having regular sexual escapades with her college ex.
Should I break the news to her before she arrives so that she can make other arrangements in the event that she’s unhappy about it, or do I keep it under wraps because their relationship was decades ago?
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